Nick Cave - The Weeping Song

Way out of Here - Porcupine Tree

Lights Out

I have got to admit to loving UFO's live album Strangers in the Night. We've all got our musical guilty pleasures...

The Double D Scalp?

If April 1 hasn’t come came early for the Mail on Sunday then it would appear that the world of cosmetic surgery has found another way to make people part with their cash. A Spanish surgeon has found a way to add up to two inches (5cm) to a person’s height using a silicone head implant.

Dr Luis de la Cruz developed the procedure to help people who would normally be too short for jobs with a minimum height. He claims would-be soldiers, police officers, air hostesses, models and fire fighters are queuing up for the surgery at his Madrid clinic. During a 90-minute operation an incision is made in the side of the head and the implant squeezed in between the skull and the scalp. Patients are usually released from hospital the next day. and the only sign they have had surgery is a small scar and a wallet that is lighter to the tune of at least £4,000

Dr de la Cruz, 47, has already carried out the operation on 17 patients. He said: "It is a relatively simple procedure that can have a wonderfully positive effect on the patient's life. Like most good ideas it came to me in a flash. I was approached by a young woman who had always dreamed of becoming an air stewardess. She was rejected for being half an inch too small and asked if there was any technique to add to her height... The woman who sparked my interest was the third to have it done. She is very happy with the result and is now an air stewardess."

The Clinica La Luz in Madrid is thought to be the only place in the world where the operation is performed. But people with long, thin heads are advised against the surgery as the result can look odd.

Ah the modern world! Does this mean the end of shorter folk wearing platform shoes and top hats?

On the other hand...

25

As long as I'm not attacked by 25 or fewer fof the little darlings, I'll be fine.. Just so long as they don't attack me on the Moon!

Hat Tip again to Grendel for this one

Well that's me doomed

50%

If I was stranded on the moon then I'm toast by looks of it! Hat tip to Grendel for this quiz

45 Today

45 and I remain exactly 20 years younger that John Major, the erstwhile Prince of Greyness. Not only that but it is still the anniversary of Towton, the bloodiest battle on British soil while Lucy Lawless is still five years younger than me.

That these things have not changed comes as a major relief.....

Photo Hunt - High

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt is high. The London Eye certainly fits the bill even if it is no longer the world's biggest ferris wheel. It certainlyis a London landmark I like very much

Porn East German style

It is a general rule (with exceptions of course) that the further left one goes, the more prudish and sexually repressed one becomes – Maoists can make Pandas look like sexual Olympians! Most regimes exercise hypocrisy on social mores (more like “dog-in-a-mangery”) . Take East Germany. Western pornography was banned under communism, but the armed forces had its own “pornosec” making sex films for senior officers and politicians.

Evidence of the former communist state's secret porn industry surfaced in a documentary made by eastern Germany's MDR television channel. It showed original film clips of nude subalterns kissing, and female army privates in helmets posing semi-naked on parade.The programme, Pornography made in the German Democratic Republic, revealed that the East German army, which at the time was one of the most feared in the Warsaw Pact, ran a 160-man film unit which had a secret amateur circle of 12 porn enthusiasts.

Dietmar Schürtz, 57, a former sound technician and actor in the porn film circle, who works in the reunited German army's media department, said in an interview that the unit was set up in 1982. It managed to make a total of 12 erotic films before the collapse of communism in 1989. "All of the films were made in secret but partly with the permission of senior officers," he said, adding that the premieres were an event not to be missed by the country's ruling elite: "All the bosses came to these showings – either because they were just inquisitive or simply out of pure lust," he said.

Mr Schürtz said the movies were shot on 16mm film cameras and that a military hospital was used as a studio. Most of the apparently sex-hungry women who starred in the films were civilian employees of the army. "We asked them whether they wanted a role and nearly all of them said yes immediately," he said.

The style of the erotic film clips shown in the documentary was reminiscent of early Scandinavian pornographic cinema. Perhaps surprisingly for a former front-line Warsaw Pact state, the films were not without humorous jabs at the failures of communism. One scene depicted a male worker in a medical consulting room waiting to be seen by a female doctor. She enters and orders the man to strip to the waist. "But I am your mechanic!" insists the male worker. The doctor immediately unbuttons her white coat and offers the worker instant sex because she is so grateful to have found somebody to repair her car in a country almost devoid of mechanics.

The secret clips included "Carry On" film-style shots of a female army private in a helmet exposing herself on a parade ground to the command "Breasts Out !" The scenes are in marked contrast to the atmosphere of public prudery that prevailed in East Germany before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Although nudism and naked bathing were permitted, the regime banned Western sex films and visitors to the country who dared to try to import erotic magazines from the West would have the publication confiscated by border guards and risked being denied entry.After 1989, one of the first addresses for many East Germans visiting the West was a porn cinema or a sex shop.

I hasten to add that I am no connoisseur of pornography but I would imagine that their output was on par with other East German triumphs such as the Trabant

Phonoautograph beats Edison to first voice recording

American researchers have pieced together a 10-second audio clip of a French folk song which they believe is the oldest recognisable recording of the human voice. The recording appears to be of a young woman singing a couple of phrases from the 18th century folk song Au Clair de la Lune. It was made in 1860 by Edouard Leon Scott de Martinville, a Parisian typesetter and librarian, on a device he called a "phonautograph".

The recording was made 17 years before Edison's famous recording of himself reciting 'Mary had a little lamb' in 1877 and 28 years before the first playable recording - a performance of a Handel oratorio at Crystal Palace in 1888.

The recording was discovered earlier this month at the French Academy of Sciences by David Gioavannoni, an "audio historian" who led the effort to find Scott's original "phonoautograms". Mr Giovannoni had found earlier recordings at a Paris patent office, dating back as early as 1857 but he told the newspaper that his "eureka moment" came when he found the immaculately preserved 1860 recording on a sheet of rag paper measuring nine inches by 29 inches. "It was pristine," Mr Giovannoni said. "The sound waves were remarkably clear and clean." (the sound is far from pristine but hey, who’s quibbling!). Mr Giovannoni sent scans of the recording to the Berkeley Lab where they were painstakingly converted into sound by scientists using technology designed to salvage historic recordings.

That technology allows the voice of a young French woman, recorded in Paris in the months before Abraham Lincoln's inauguration as President of the United States, to be heard again

Were they ever really that small?

Robyn as a kitten in 1994 and Ted in 1998. This week's entry for Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats.

A Broccoli Ocarina

A little while ago Steve over at Yellow Doggerel Democrat posted a video of the Vegetable Orchestra. You Tube has a wonderful collection of musical vegetables. With Steve in mind I proudly present a well loved carol on an ocarina made out of broccoli. Enjoy!

The oldest European

Europe’s oldest human remains have been discovered in northern Spain according to a paper published in Nature. Dated at 1.1-1.2 million years old, the discovery comprises part of a human's lower jawbone with the seven teeth were still in place (as well as an isolated tooth belonging to the same individual). It was found in the Sierra de Atapuerca near Burgos. Stone tools and animal bones with tell-tale cut marks from butchering by humans were also found.

"It is the oldest human fossil yet found in Western Europe," said co-author Jose Maria Bermudez de Castro, director of Spain's National Research Centre on Human Evolution (CENIEH) in Burgos. Dr Bermudez de Castrosaid that the latest find had anatomical features linking it to earlier hominins (modern humans, their ancestors and relatives since divergence from apes) discovered in Dmanisi, Georgia - at the gates of Europe. The Georgian hominins lived some 1.7 million years ago and represent an early expansion of humans outside Africa. The researchers therefore suggest that Western Europe was settled by a population of hominins coming from the east. Once these early people had "won the West" they evolved into a distinct species - Homo antecessor, or "Pioneer Man", say the scientists.

The scientists now plan to investigate whether Pioneer Man might have been ancestral to Neanderthals and to even our own species Homo sapiens. "In terms of European prehistory, this [find] is very significant," said Professor Chris Stringer, research leader in human origins at London's Natural History Museum. "The earliest hominins outside Africa are those from Dmanisi in Georgia. After that, we have occupations in Europe, but the ages are not very precise. They are also without hominin [remains]," said Dr Marina Mosquera, a co-author from the Rovira i Virgili University in Tarragona, Spain.

The Spanish researchers used three different techniques to date the new fossils: palaeomagnetism, cosmogenic nuclide dating and biostratigraphy. "What we have are the European descendents of the first migration out of Africa," said Dr Mosquera. Professor Stringer said that until more material was discovered from Atapuerca, he was cautious about assigning the new specimen to the species Homo antecessor. But he added: "However the specimen is classified, when combined with the emerging archaeological evidence, it suggests that southern Europe began to be colonised from western Asia not long after humans had emerged from Africa - something which many of us would have doubted even five years ago.It gives us confidence that Europe was not left out of the picture of the spread of early humans. Early humans got to Java and China by 1.5 million years ago and certainly some of the animal remains found at those Asian sites are found in Western Europe too."

Panda porn and sexercise

There are two very good reasons why we say “at it like rabbits” rather than “at it like pandas”: firstly, pandas are not a native British species (Okay, I know the rabbit is a Johnny-come-lately but it’s been a part of our landscape for long enough); secondly, the Panda doesn’t have a sex drive so much as a sex crawl....

The Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Centre in southwestern Sichuan province is trying to remedy notorious lack of interest in things carnal by using “panda porn” (full panda on panda action and voyeurism) and “sexercise”. Apparently the latter has had some sexcess and now China has devised a new tactic to help the black-and-white animals to have more babies.

The “sexercise” dangling an apple above the panda, luring it to stand on two legs as it tries to reach the treat. The exercise helps the panda to walk on its rear legs, thus strengthening the pelvic and hip muscles and better equipping it for sex. Yang Kuxing, keeper of ten pandas in the centre's maternity ward, said that sexercise should aid the males when mating: “After pandas succeed in taking the standing-up exercise, we feed them apples to reward them.”

But the keepers are relying on more than pornography and dangling apples to improve the sexual skills of the panda. Pandas are solitary animals in the wild and seek companions only during the mating season. Keepers are trying to familiarise pandas, which have often been bred in captivity, with members of the opposite sex. A male panda is placed in a den occupied by a female, and vice versa, so that they smell each other's odour. With any luck, they may begin to show an interest in sex, often seen as symptoms of anxiety. The two are then placed in the same pen in the hope that they will have sex.

Pandas with a bit more experience may also be called in to help their more innocent companions. One official said: “We arrange lovemaking between two excellent pandas in front of inexperienced pandas which have never had sex. It does work.” Now more than 30 per cent of the 68 pandas at the base are capable of having sex naturally compared with just 10 per cent a decade ago.

China is desperate to ensure that it has a sufficient number of pandas, with a broad genetic variety, to ensure the survival of the species. Keepers try to ensure that all pandas can find a mate as soon as they “come into season” - when the female is fertile and receptive. This state lasts only a few days. In addition to being encouraged to have sex with a willing male, the female is then artificially inseminated to reduce the room for failure, experts say. The procedure, which involves giving the male mild electric shocks to obtain sperm, and the female an anaesthetic while she is impregnated, can be uncomfortable and traumatic, some experts say. Also, genetic tests have found that the natural mating has usually been successful in any case.

Seahenge to get permanent display

A timber circle dating back 4,000 years which was found in the sea off the Norfolk coast then years ago is to be put on permanent display in King’s Lynn. Seahenge, as it is known, has 55 oak posts around a central upturned stump dating from the Bronze Age. It was found emerging from a beach at Holme-next-the-Sea.

Timbers were studied at the Bronze Age Centre, Peterborough, then preserved at the Mary Rose Trust, Portsmouth. After it was excavated, 3D laser scanning revealed the earliest metal tool marks on wood ever discovered in Britain. Archaeologists at the Bronze Age Centre, believe between 50 and 80 people may have helped build the circle, possibly to mark the death of an important individual.

Seahenge became exposed at low tides after the peat dune covering it was swept away by winter storms. The site's excavation was initially halted by protests by a group of about 12 Druids and environmental campaigners who said the sea had cared for the site for 4,000 years and would continue to do so. But researchers said the exposed wood was deteriorating fast. Funding from the Heritage Lottery Fund and Norfolk County Council has been provided for the Seahenge Gallery project at the Lynn Museum which will house the timber, displayed in its original formation. The central stump, which is still being treated, will join the gallery at a later date.

John Gretton, of Norfolk County Council, said: "The discovery of Seahenge in the summer of 1998 captured the imagination of the public and archaeologists alike. "Whilst the research done on the timbers has led to some historians drawing conclusions, the original function of Seahenge remains mysterious, and I hope that visitors will flock to the newly restored Lynn Museum to speculate on the ancient meaning behind the timbers - which we were able to rescue for all time from further damage."

WW Follows

The Shetlands are the most northerly part of the United Kingdom and although part of Scotland they are still very Norse – they only became part of Scotland in 1469 when King Christian i of Denmark and Norway pawned the Islands for 8,000 Rhenish Guilders after his daughter Margaret became engaged to James III. Subsequent kings of Norway had the right to redeem the islands for a fixed sum of 210 kg of gold or 2,310 kg of silver and several unsuccessful attempts were made during the 17th and 18th centuries.

Stuart Hill is the defender in a civil action brought against him by a local accountancy firm. However, he intends to persuade Lerwick Sheriff Court that the court and thus Scottish law has no jurisdiction. He believes the Shetlands should be viewed as a debt security and as such only on long-term loan to Scotland. He has therefore reached the "inescapable conclusion" that at no point in Shetland's history did the Crown acquire ownership of the islands.

The case will be heard on 22 April.

Hmm Nice try but I somehow think his chances of winning this case are somewhere between nil and bugger all!

WW - General

I went to the Terracotta Warior exhibition at the British Museum on Friday. The other half wanted a figurine so a figurine I bought! He will take pride of place in the front window. This week's entry for the Tuesday and Wednesday edition of Wordless Wednesday.

Health & Safety and Crucifixion

A little late I know, but I did not spot this item until now. Health officials in the Philippines issued a warning over the safety of Easter crucifixion rituals.

Officials urged participants them to get tetanus vaccinations before they flagellate themselves and are nailed to crosses, and to practise good hygiene. Penitents were strongly advised to check the condition of their whips as they wanted people to have what they call "well-maintained" whips. They also advised that the nails used to fix people to crosses must be properly disinfected first.

Surreal as this sounds there is a method in this madness: using unhygienic whips and dirty nails could lead to tetanus and other infections.

Every Good Friday, in towns across the Philippines, people atone for sins or give thanks for an answered prayer by re-enacting the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. In the northern city of San Fernando alone there were three separate improvised Golgothas and four people had pledged to have their feet and hands nailed to wooden crosses, while others will flog themselves while walking barefoot through villages.

Fischer z - So Long

Fischer Z - Marliese

Agreeing with Galloway and Rosindell

Like many other deep line tube stations Bethnal Green was used as an air raid shelter by many East enders. Although the Blitz had subsided by 1943 (and the V-1 and V-2 attacks were a year into the future) the station was the site of an incident that saw the death of over 170 civilians. At 8:17 pm on 3 March 1943 an air-raid warning sounded, causing an orderly flow of people down into the station’s booking office. Ten minutes later an anti-aircraft battery at Victoria Park a few hundred yards away launched a salvo new anti aircraft rockets. The weapon was secret, and the unfamiliar explosion caused a panic. As the crowd surged forward towards the shelter, a woman, possibly carrying a baby, tripped on the stairs, causing many others to fall. Within a few seconds 300 people were crushed into the tiny stairwell. 173 people were dead at the scene, with one more dying in hospital later; 62 of the dead were children. It is believed that this was the greatest loss of civilian life through any single incident in Britain during WWII

It was not until 50 years after the disaster that a discreet commemorative plaque was erected at the site; survivors want a more permanent memorial. Andrew Rosindell has tabled a Commons motion to support the campaign. The motion has been backed by nine other MPs. Last year George Galloway introduced a similar early day motion which attracted the support of 37 MPs.

Both readers of the Poor Mouth will probably realise I have little time for either Gorgon George or Poltroon Rosindell but credit where credit is due.I wish his EDM had received more support.

Father Ted - Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse

And on a lighter note here's one of my favourite Father Ted episodes - Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse

Mehboba Andyar - a true Olympian

The Afghan Olympic team has plenty of problems with run-down facilities and a woeful shortage of funds, but only Mehboba Andyar . the sole woman competitor, has had to prepare herself mentally for the biggest challenge of her life while dealing with sinister midnight telephone calls, the open derision of her neighbours and even police harassment.

When she competes against some of the finest runners in the world, with skills honed at the best facilities, Miss Andyar knows that she has little chance of a medal in either the 1,500m or 800m competitions. Just getting to Beijing will be more of an achievement than most athletic stars will ever know, even if she will be noticed on the racetrack mainly for wearing traditional Islamic dress instead of skin-tight Lycra, and for the novelty of being an Afghan woman.

Her interest in athletics began during the Taleban regime when she had to run in the closed yard of her family home so that enforcers from the religious police could not see her. When the family fled to Pakistan she was able to run in a park in Islamabad but she could not afford to join an athletic club. By those standards things are much better these days.

Miss Andyar trains on a cracked, concrete track in the National Stadium during gaps in the dust storms that sweep through the city. The track, bordered by a chain-link fence topped with razor wire to keep out over-enthusiastic fans during matches, circles a patch of dried, yellow grass where boys play football. The stadium has yet to capture the attention of international sports fans but it is known across the world for being the former public execution site of the Taleban. The support of her coach, family and friends has buoyed her considerable inner reserves of determination but Miss Andyar’s wish to run for Afghanistan has meant putting up with a lot in the past few weeks.

She said: “There have been so many phone calls from people saying I shouldn’t be an athlete. There are often strange men hanging around outside my home. Sometimes stones are thrown at the windows at night and we have had threatening letters.” The catcalls and derision from her neighbours when she runs in the potholed streets around her home are so bad that she only runs at night when they are watching television, despite the risk of falling into a pile of rubbish or down an open drain. Top of FormBottom of Form

She believes that one of the mystery callers has Taleban sympathies and a neighbour who reported her to the police is from the anti-Taleban Panjsher valley. “I don’t worry about these threats but if my family didn’t want me to go, I wouldn’t. They are very afraid about all this,” she said.

Her father was arrested on Monday when police raided her house because the Panjsheri neighbour said that she was entertaining strange men — a French journalist and his translator. The police took all three men to the station but Miss Andyar refused to go. They were released and the police apologised after their chief ordered them to, but Miss Andyar wants the neighbour to be arrested.

Miss Andyar will travel to Malaysia soon, where she will train for five months before the Games. Her coach hopes that this will allow her to focus her mind away from the difficult environment of Kabul. “I don’t care what it is like there,” she said. “As long as I can train hard to do my best at Beijing.”

Her fellow Olympians, a sprinter and a tae-kwon-do competitor who has a good chance of winning a first Olympic medal for Afghanistan, are supportive, and so is Shahpoor Amiri, her coach. He said: “For us it is enough that an Afghan girl is going to the Beijing Games. She doesn’t have to get first or second place, she has overcome so many problems and she is already an inspiration.” He admitted that he was not sure if it would become easier for Afghan women to compete in the future. “A lot of educated people admire her. But the ordinary people, some of them really hate her,” he said.

The show ponies of the Premiership and other massively overpaid sports should count their blessings and get a sense of perspective. It doesn’t matter a jot whether Mehboba comes last in her heats or not, the important thing is that she takes part and performs to the best of her ability. I don’t care if that sounds quaintly Corinthian in this day and age but that is what any sport is truly about.

Photo Hunt - Metal

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt is metal. For once this was easy. Not far away from my house is a metal structure. It's Victorian we think. It could do with with some rust care and a lick of paint but we like it. Have a look at the the following photo and have a guess what it is.

XDR-TB arrives in the UK

Doctors have diagnosed what is believed to be the first ever case in Britain of a virtually untreatable strain of tuberculosis known as XDR-TB (Extensively Drug Resistant Tuberculosis). A man, believed to be a Somali in his 30s, is in isolation at a hospital in Scotland and being treated with a range of antibiotics to control the disease. But he has been diagnosed with the XDR-TB strain, which kills half of those infected and is extremely resistant to drugs used to fight more common forms of the infection.

It is understood the patient, thought to be an asylum seeker, was screened for infectious diseases on his arrival into Britain last year. X-rays revealed TB scarring on his lungs, but the disease was not thought to be active so he was allowed to travel to Scotland. He was admitted to Gartnavel General Hospital in Glasgow with the disease in January and tests have now revealed he is suffering from the XDR-TB strain. Health officials are now trying to contact his close friends and family to prevent any further outbreaks.

A spokesman for Gartnavel General Hospital said last night: “We can confirm a case of drug-resistant tuberculosis is being treated at the hospital. We are in touch with all close contacts of the patient, and where appropriate they will be screened. The strain is not any more infectious than normal TB. The main concern is that it is resistant to antibiotics, which makes it much harder to treat.”

The first case of XDR-TB was reported in March 2006, after researchers discovered an emerging global threat of highly resistant TB strains. Six months later 53 “virtually untreatable” XDR-TB cases were found in an area of South Africa with a high prevalence of HIV. Samples were taken for drug resistance tests but all but one of the patients died an average of 25 days later.

TB drug resistance has been increasing across the world, including Britain, and the World Health Organisation warns more needs to be done to combat the disease. Professor Peter Davis, secretary of TB Alert in the UK, said: “We are aware that it is quite prevalent in other parts of the world. Because our country is no longer separated from disease by the channel, we have got to be aware of it.”

And now water on Titan...

The Saturn moon Titan has just joined a growing band of solar system objects that may contain water. According to a paper published in the journal Science, radar images from the Cassini-Huygens mission reinforce predictions that a reservoir of liquid water exists beneath the satellite’s thick crust of ice. If confirmed, it would mean that Titan has two of the key components for life - water and organic molecules.

When the Cassini-Huygens mission began to observe Titan in 2004, the surface was thought to be completely covered with an ocean of hydrocarbons. But when the spacecraft turned its radar on the moon for the first time in 2004, and the Huygens probe parachuted to the surface a year later, a different picture emerged. Much of the surface was found to be solid, with geological features such as dunes, channels and impact craters, punctuated by vast "lakes".

Cassini's latest fly-by of Titan is providing a new glimpse of these features, which to researchers' surprise, are not in the place they should be. Coupled with models of how the moon spins, the data suggests that the observed seasonal variation in spin rate could only exist if a liquid ocean lay beneath the solid crust. The researchers, led by Dr Ralph Lorenz of Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, US, say their predictions can be checked in the proposed extended Cassini mission or in future missions.

Evidence suggests that Titan has two of the key constituents for the formation of life - water and organic molecules, and possibly a third - a source of energy, he said. Professor Zarnecki of the Open University said "We know there are organic molecules, the place is swarming in organics. Titan is 50% water-ice. If it is liquid, as this paper is implying some of it is, it looks as though we've got at least two of the things to initiate the chemistry that leads to life. It wouldn't be too far fetched to imagine certain spots on Titan where there would be a source of energy - maybe geothermal energy, as we have on Earth at the bottom of the oceans."

Past observations have shown that Titan in many ways resembles a very early Earth, particularly in the composition of its atmosphere. The major difference is the frigid temperatures out near Saturn.

I get the feeling that Titan will be the subject of further probes. It would be amazing if life was found there

An iconic symbol turns 50

It was Good Friday 1958 that the iconic peace symbol had its first outing as thousands of British protestors set off from Trafalgar Square on a 50-mile march to the nuclear. Since then it has become an international sign for peace, and arguably the most widely used protest symbol in the world. It has also been adapted, attacked and commercialised.

The demonstration had been organised by the Direct Action Committee Against Nuclear War (DAC) and the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) joined in. Gerald Holtom, a designer and former World War II conscientious objector from West London, persuaded DAC that their aims would have greater impact if they were conveyed in a visual image. He considered using a Christian cross motif but, instead, settled on using letters from the semaphore - or flag-signalling - alphabet, super-imposing N (uclear) on D (isarmament) and placing them within a circle symbolising Earth. Holtom later explained that the design was "to mean a human being in despair" with arms outstretched downwards.



In a book to commemorate the symbol's 50th birthday, American pacifist Ken Kolsbun charts how it was transported across the Atlantic and took on additional meanings for the Civil Rights movement, the counter-culture of the 1960s and 70s including the anti-Vietnam protests, and the environmental, women's and gay rights movements. He also argues that groups opposed to those tendencies tried to use the symbol against them by distorting its message. How the sign migrated to the US is explained in various ways. Some say it was brought back from the Aldermaston protest by civil rights activist Bayard Rustin, a black pacifist who had studied Gandhi's techniques of non-violence.

In Peace: The biography of a symbol, Mr Kolsbun describes how in just over a decade, the sign had been carried by civil rights "freedom" marchers, painted on psychedelic Volkswagens in San Francisco, and on the helmets of US soldiers on the ground in Vietnam. "The sign really got going over here during the 1960s and 70s, when it became associated with anti-Vietnam protests. "This, of course, led some people to condemn it as a communist sign," says Mr Kolsbun. " As the sign became a badge of the burgeoning hippie movement of the late 1960s, the hippies' critics scornfully compared it to a chicken footprint, and drew parallels with the runic letter indicating death. In 1970, the conservative John Birch Society published pamphlets likening the sign to a Satanic symbol of an upside-down, "broken" cross.

The real power of the sign, its supporters say, is the reaction that it provokes - both from fans and from detractors. The South African government, for one, tried to ban its use by opponents of apartheid in 1973. And, in 2006, a couple in suburban Denver found themselves embroiled in a dispute over their use of a giant peace sign as a Christmas wreath. The homeowners' association threatened them with a daily fine if they didn't remove it.


CND has never registered the sign as a trademark, arguing that "a symbol of freedom, it is free for all". It has now appeared on millions of mugs, T-shirts, rings and nose-studs. A decade ago, the sign was chosen during a public vote to appear on a US commemorative postage stamp saluting the 1960s. "It is still the dominant peace sign," argues Lawrence Wittner, an expert on peace movements at the University at Albany in New York. "Part of that is down to its simplicity. It can be used as a shorthand for many causes because it can be reproduced really quickly - on walls on floors, which is important, in say, repressive societies."

A landmark in the history of sex

Funisia dorothea was long, thin rope-like organism that lived on the sea floor about 570 million years ago has been identified as the first animal on Earth to have had sex (well reproduce sexually). Sadly for Funisia it is unlikely that the earth moved (unless there had been a seaquake at the time) and it is thought that is reproduced in a similar way to modern corals and sponges. However, the discovery has excited scientists who said that the fossils open a window on one of the most ancient ecosystems.

Researchers identified the creature’s capacity for sexual rather than asexual reproduction because fossil specimens were found in groups that all appeared to be the same age. Because they had found a foothold in a sandy seabed at the same time, it was considered they must have resulted from a simultaneous spawning instead of uncoordinated asexual births.

Mary Droser, the paleontologist who led the excavations, named the animal after her 80-year-old mother, Dorothy Droser, who took care of the paleontologist’s young children and cooked for the research team on several digs in the Australian outback. Mrs Droser said she was “thrilled to tears” at having a fossil named in her honour. She thought it appropriate that the ancient beast was the first to have sexual relations: “My family thinks it’s humorous. I have 11 grandchildren — obviously reproduction is a good thing.”

Funisia dorothea thrived on the sea floor in the Neoproterozoic era, a 100-million-year period ending about 540 million years ago, and formed part of the earliest known animal ecosystem. It was a soft-bodied creature that grew 30cm long and would have been safe from predators because it would be several more million years before they evolved. Even scavengers had yet to appear. Once the tubular animals had fixed themselves to the seabed, either as a larva or a fertilised egg, they were immobile and unable to go off in search of mates. Researchers, who reported their findings in the journal Science, were unable to identify a mouth or any other recognisable anatomy.

“In general, individuals of an organism grow close to each other, in part, to ensure reproductive success,” said Professor Droser, who co-authored the report with James Gehling of the South Australia Museum. “In Funisia, we are very likely seeing sexual reproduction in Earth’s early ecosystem – possibly the very first instance of sexual reproduction in animals on our planet. How Funisia appears in the fossils clearly shows that ecosystems were complex very early in the history of animals on Earth.”

Ted in a box

Of all our cats, Ted is the box fetishist. The box in question was for a pair oftrainers the not-wife bought and she is a size 4 (or 5 in the US) This week's entry for Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats.

The Pykecrete Carrier

Britons in their late 30s and older will almost certainly be familiar with scientist Magnus Pyke who appeared on “Don’t ask me” in the 70s. He definitely had the air of the mad scientist but he was always entertaining. On the other hand he did suggest using surplus human blood in black puddings during WWII. While the vampire community would be happy, I doubt it would have been a big seller, somehow...

Magnus Pyke had a first cousin Geoffrey Pyke who was very much in the same mad scientist mould. If one of his ideas during WWII had come to fruition then the Royal Navy would have had an aircraft carrier that would have dwarfed any vessel ever afloat.

The Battle of the Atlantic was the one German offensive of WWII that could have brought Britain to its knees. By 1942 Allied forces were losing an enormous amount of merchant shipping to U boats. In part this was due to inadequate air cover in the mid-Atlantic. A large part of the mid-Atlantic was beyond the range of land based aircraft and aircraft carriers were in short supply. Plans for an Allied invasion of Europe were also underway and it was felt that large floating platforms were needed to assist the assault forces.

Lord Louis Mountbatten was Chief of Combined Operations and part of the work of this department was to develop technology and equipment for offensive operations. He encouraged scientists to produce their ideas, however fantastical they might seem. Many ideas did not get past the drawing stage, but others were taken up and experimented with before being abandoned. One of these was the iceberg aircraft carrier which had been supported, Mountbatten and Churchill.

HMS Habbakuk (a misspelling of the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk who said “Behold ye among the heathen, and regard and wonder marvellously: for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not believe, though it be told to you.”) was the brainchild of Geoffrey Pyke. His idea was that because ice was unsinkable, an iceberg vessel could be impervious to bomb and torpedo attacks. Repairs would be – just pour water into any holes and freeze it. Habbakuk and its sister ships could be up to 4000 feet long, 600 feet wide and 130 feet in depth and to carry up to 150 twin engine bombers or fighter aircraft.

The idea was taken up by Mountbatten and in December 1942, Churchill was convinced that the idea was worth pursuing. One problem had to be overcome. Ice split too easily. Exiled Austrian scientist Max Perutz had invented a composite material Pykrete which consisted of ice with 14% sawdust and was stronger that concrete. Plans were drawn up for a vessel with the dimensions of 2000 feet long with a displacement of 1,800,000 dead weight tons.

A model was built on Patricia Lake, Jaspar in Canada but because of the huge quantities of steel even an ice vessel would need it was essential that the Americans were brought on board. Mountbatten took a block of Pykecrete to the 1943 Quebec Conference to demonstrate its strength. He fired a revolver into a block of ice which, predictably, shattered. He then fired into a block of Pykecrete. The bullet did not penetrate the block; rather it ricocheted off the ice, and grazed the leg of Admiral King, the American Chief of Naval Operations.

The Americans were not convinced about the project. They felt that technical problems would delay the use of ice ships until 1945 by when the conventional carrier fleet would be large enough to make the need for ice aircraft carriers obsolete. Churchill also gave up on the project when he realised that the carriers would cost over £6m.

The model in Patricia Lake was “scuttled” in 1943 by removing all the machinery that had been used and leaving it to sink in place. In the 1970’s remains of the model were found and studied and in 1989, a plaque to commemorate the unusual ship was placed on the lake’s shore.

Geoffrey Pyke committed suicide in 1948.

Methane and water discovered on extrasolar planet

Astronomers have discovered methane in the atmosphere of planet HD 189733b which is 63 light years away. This is the first time that an organic molecule has been detected on a planet outside our Solar System. Water has also been discovered but the planet is far too hot to support life.

The discovery, unveiled in the journal Nature, is an important step towards exploring new worlds that might be more hospitable to life. Under certain circumstances, methane can play a key role in prebiotic chemistry. Co-author Giovanna Tinetti from University College, London, said "This planet is a gas giant very similar to our own Jupiter, but orbiting very close to its star. The methane here, although we can call it an organic constituent, is not produced by life - it is way too hot there for life."

Dr Tinetti, and co-authors Mark Swain and Gautam Vasisht, from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, found the tell-tale signature of methane in the planet's atmosphere using the Hubble Space Telescope. The observations were made as the planet passed in front of its parent star, as viewed from Earth. As the star's light passed briefly through the planet's atmosphere, the gases imprinted their chemical signatures on the transmitted light Spectroscopy revealed the chemical "fingerprint" of methane.

It shows that Hubble, Spitzer and a new generation of space telescopes yet to be launched can detect organic molecules on other extrasolar planets using spectroscopy, they say. Dr Swain said: "This is a crucial stepping stone to eventually characterising prebiotic molecules on planets where life could exist." Dr Tinetti said the technique could eventually be applied to extrasolar planets that appear more suitable for life than HD 189733b. "I definitely think that life is out there. My personal view is it is way too arrogant to think that we are the only ones living in the Universe." She said

Adam Showman of the Department of Planetary Sciences at the University of Arizona, US, said scientists were finally starting to move beyond simply discovering extrasolar planets to truly characterising them as worlds. Dr Showman, who was not part of the study, said: "The discovery does not by itself have any direct implications for life except that it proves a technique which might potentially be useful for characterising the atmosphere of rocky planets when we finally start discovering them."

For sale: One U-boat pen, slightly used

A vast concrete complex built by slave labour on the North German coast and known as Valentin may not be a des res but the former submarine factory is up for sale to anyone interested in a building with 7m-thick walls. It is the largest surviving bunker from the Third Reich. The asking price is vague but government officials say that they could be accommodating for any serious bidder. The place has become a millstone, its upkeep swallowing up to €800,000 (£630,000) a year from the Defence Ministry budget. “And that's just the absolutely essential investments needed to stop the place crumbling,” says commandant Wolfgang zu Putlitz, who is in charge of guarding and maintaining the site.

Hitler, concerned that Germany was losing the edge in the war for the sea lanes, ordered the construction of the factory near Bremen with the aim of producing a new U-boat, the sophisticated XXI model, every 56 hours. The factory was a silo with the dimensions of a cathedral: 426m (1,400ft) long, 97m wide, 25m high. At one end was a diving basin for the last tests on the U-boats before they would slide into the Weser river and head for the North Sea. In the event, no submarine left the factory. By March 1945 the factory, begun 18 months earlier, was 80 per cent complete. Then a British Bomber Command raid succeeded in penetrating the roof using the 10 ton Grand Slam bomb (The above photo shows the result of the bombng). Before repairs were complete, the war was over.

The initial idea after the war was to blow up Valentin but that would have required at least 500 tonnes of explosives and the blast would have wiped out most of the neighbourhood. So it was taken over by the German Army, which has been using part of it as a storehouse. Blowing it up is now out of the question because it has been officially listed: research in Eastern European archives has shown that at least 4,000 slave labourers, many of them from Poland and Russia, died building Valentin. Most were undernourished. Some were beaten to death by guards trying to enforce a breakneck speed of construction.

“This bunker should not be sold,” the Mayor of Bremen, Jens Böhrnsen, says, “for both financial and moral reasons.” The new owner would have to commit himself to making at least part of the site into a memorial centre for Nazi slave labour. At least 12,000 concentration camp inmates, forced labourers and prisoners of war were involved in the project: a million tonnes of gravel and sand had to be dug up and 1,232,000 tonnes of cement was mixed.

Franz Josef Jung, the German Defence Minister, has said that he is aware of the historical significance of the U-boat factory but added: “It is not the task of the German Army to maintain memorials”.

Alexander Lukashenko, President of Belarus and unreconstructed communist dictator has joined the likes of Margaret Thatcher and McLaren Mercedes by becoming a client Tory peer and PR guru Tim Bell.

Lord Bell, who came to fame as the man who burnished Margaret Thatcher's image in the early days when she was leader of the opposition, has now been hired to help soften the grim image that Belarus presents to the outside world as it clings to the Soviet way of life. Belarus badly needs foreign investment, which it is unlikely to get from the US, where Congress has condemned the country's civil rights record. Mr Lukashenko wants the UK to step in and become his country's biggest foreign investor. Just over a week ago, he played host to a delegation of peers headed by Cecil Parkinson, who chaired the Tory party during the 1983 election. Lord Parkinson obligingly declared that he thought foreign investors could feel "secure and confident" in Belarus. At the same time, Lord Bell was in Minsk to sign a tricky but no doubt very lucrative contract. "Lukashenko would like his country to be better understood, and his successes to be better grasped," Lord Bell told The Moscow Times. "Lukashenko doesn't see why Belarus can't be a friend to the West and a friend to Russia at the same time."

Hmm even if Bell is a PR magician, why do the words polish and turd spring to mind?

WW - Leucojum vernum

Or the Spring Snowflake. This week's entry for the Tuesday and Wednesday edition of Wordless Wednesday.

Steve Earle - Galway Girl

The not-wife is a Hornchurch girl though.....

It being St Patrick's Day and all that

I don't celebrate St Patrick's Day so I don't wear shamrock (which always seems to look like you've dropped some cress on your lapel) and I certainly wouldn't touch green beer with a bargepole. Here's a couple of quizzes instead....

You're 30% Irish

You're probably less Irish than you think you are... But you're still more Irish than most.

How Irish Are You?

Ah well I'm not very OIRISH (as opposed to Irish) so it seems!

Here's a different quiz

1 Galway is in which Province?

2 The Prime Minister of Ireland is known as:

3 The name of John Wayne's character in the film 'The Quiet Man' was:

4 Phil Lynott was the lead singer with which famous Irish rock band

5 Who is the female patron saint of Ireland/

6 The unit of currency in Ireland is

7 The book 'Angelas Ashes' by Frank McCourt was principally based in which Irish city?

8 The Irish beer 'Murphys' is brewed in which Irish town?

9 The County with the shortest coastline in Ireland is:

10 Ireland was declared a Republic in which year?

I got 10/10 and am thus belong the the Supreme Order of Cuchulainn and the Red Branch Warriors!

Ah well I had better get off to work......

The Tsunami Bomb

The not-wife, being fascinated in disasters, decided that the BBC programme “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Tsunamis” was appointment television. In the end it was more like one or two things we didn’t know about Tsunamis. One of these unknowns was the Tsunami Bomb .

During wartime the military will entertain ideas that would almost certainly be shown the door during peacetime. And so it was in 1944 and 1945 that top-secret experiments (Known as Project Seal) were conducted off the coast of Auckland at Whangaparaoa by Auckland University professor Thomas Leech. Leech conducted hundreds of underwater explosions in the hope of developing a weapon that would trigger tidal waves in 1944 and 1945. According to “Ten things” programme the experiments were an utter failure. After 4000 test explosions, none of which generated an appreciable effect and the project was closed down when it was determined that there were errors in the theoretical basis of the plan.

However, according to New Zealand papers released only in 1999 the US and British military were eager for Seal to be developed in the post-war years too. They even considered sending Professor Leech to Bikini Atoll to view the US nuclear tests and see if they had any application to his work. Leech did not make the visit, although a member of the US board of assessors of atomic tests, Dr Karl Compton, was sent to New Zealand.

"Dr Compton is impressed with Professor Leech's deductions on the Seal project and is prepared to recommend to the Joint Chiefs of Staff that all technical data from the test relevant to the Seal project should be made available to the New Zealand Government for further study by Professor Leech," said a July 1946 letter from Washington to Wellington.


Could have it ever succeeded? According to another New Zealand Herald article Tsunami researchers at the University of Waikato believed that the bomb was fundamentally feasible. A modern approach to the idea could produce waves up to 30m high.

Dr Willem de Lange, of the Department of Earth Sciences, said studies proved that while a single explosion was not necessarily effective, a series of explosions could have a significant impact. Dr de Lange said the waves were not high because the energy was projected upwards, not sideways. He believed the same principle would be true for a tsunami bomb.

"You can't confine the energy. Once the explosion gets big enough, all of its energy goes into the atmosphere and not into the water. But... if you had a series of explosions in the same place, it's much more effective and can produce much bigger waves."

To be honest this sounds like one of the wilder ideas of a mad scientist – the sort with an assistant called Igor and a lab full of Tesla coils. Personally I think the idea is pretty ludicrous. Even if a large amount of explosives could indeed create a tsunami, I would imagine dropping the bombs on the chosen would cause rather more damage. I’m surprised it hasn’t been touted more by the tinfoil hat brigade’s mill though

The Tethys Ocean?

The Saturn moon Tethys was discovered by Giovanni Cassini in 1684 and named by John Herschel (son of William) in 1847. Tethys was a Greek sea goddess and it may be that Herschel’s choice of name may have been quite appropriate as it may once have harboured a liquid ocean.

Tethys is a mid-sized satellite with a density close to that of pure ice. But a large valley system visible today must have formed when the crust was being heated and under great strain according to a presentation at the 39th Lunar and Planetary Science Conference in Houston.

Calculations by Erinna Chen and Francis Nimmo, from the University of California, Santa Cruz, show that tidal interactions were the only viable way of providing the amount of heat associated with the formation of Ithaca Chasma. They propose that Tethys' orbit around Saturn was once perturbed by gravitational interactions with another moon - Dione - which made Tethys' orbit more "eccentric". The resulting tidal forces caused frictional heating of Tethys' interior. But at some point, the orbital interaction between Tethys and Dione was broken, and Tethys fell back into a less eccentric orbit. As it did so, it began to cool. Freezing of a liquid ocean would have generated sufficient stresses in the crust to form Ithaca Chasma, the researchers said.

"We have a large rift system that brought water to the surface, so it seems likely that this happened," Ms Chen explained. She said that there was no way of knowing exactly how deep the ocean was, but speculated that it could have been 100km deep at some point in Tethys' past.

Tethys joins Europa and possibly Callisto in a small club of icy Solar System bodies thought either to have a subsurface ocean today, or to have had one in the distant past. Some researchers also think Saturn's moon Enceladus could harbour liquid water beneath the surface, although this idea has been called into question recently.

Lewis Hamilton off to a flying start

Lewis Hamilton steered clear of the chaos at the season-opening Australian Grand Prix to get his title campaign off to a great start. He dominated from the start in his McLaren to beat Nick Heidfeld and Nico Rosberg into second and third places. Only six cars finished the race

The oldest satellite in orbit

Vanguard I is the oldest surviving man-made satellite in space and is about to celebrate 50 years in orbit. It will have made nearly 197,000 orbits of teh earth when it reaches its 50^th anniversary on Monday.

At 6in in diameter and 3lb in weight, it was dubbed “the grapefruit satellite” by Nikita Khrushchev, then the leader of the Soviet Union. It is tiny by modern standards, and even small compared to the 23in-long Sputnik 1, its achievements were enormous. It was the first to use solar power and it sent back a wealth of information on the size of the Earth, its air density and temperatures. After the humiliation of watching the Soviet Union get satellites into space first, its successful launch and deployment came as a welcome fillip to the United States and the West.

President Dwight Eisenhower publicly announced its deployment a little more than two hours after the launch and it was reported in The Times on March 18, 1958, under a headline: “Up ‘for a very long time’.” The satellite has travelled 5.7 billion miles, the equivalent of flying from here to Neptune and back, plus a round trip to Mars. It was the second successful satellite launched by the United States but it has remained in orbit longer than any of its predecessors, all of which burnt up when they reentered the Earth’s atmosphere.

It was the second satellite launched by the USA. The first was Explorer I which was launched the month before. At the time of its launch, Vanguard I was reported to be capable of staying in orbit for five or ten years, though it later became clear that it was designed to last for 200 years. More recent analysis suggests it will continue circling the Earth for 2,000 years unless it is knocked off course. It was launched by the US Naval Research Laboratory (NRL) from Cape Canaveral in Florida as part of Project Vanguard, headed by John Hagan.

Much of the technology for the project was based on Germany’s war-time V-2 rockets. One of the satellite’s most important achievements was to test solar cells in space, allowing space-craft using them to continue much longer in orbit than those with conventional batteries. While other satellites ran out of power after about three weeks, Vanguard I’s solar power enabled it to continue transmitting information back to Earth for seven years. It finally stopped broadcasting in 1964.

They sure built ‘em to last in those days!

More Iranian censorship

PHOTO HUNT FOLLOWS

Much to George Galloway’s chagrin, today’s Independent continues with the anti Iranian “propaganda” by having the temerity to suggest that there may be limits to freedom of speech in Iran. This will make him particularly angry since not one news paper carried the story about a teenager who was told to shut up in Barnsley yesterday... But seriously, it would appear that attacks on free speech in Iran have become even more repressive and bizarre in recent times (if that were at all possible!)

The closure of newspapers and the jailing of journalists has become commonplace. Directives from the National Security Council containing the latest Islamic guidelines land on the desks of Iranian editors once or twice a week, and they are in no doubt that they must comply. But a recent classified directive broke new ground by decreeing in minute detail how to report on every story. Iranian sources say it is part of an almost surreal trend of censorship. Hadi Ghaemi, the New York-based co-ordinator of the International Campaign for Human Rights in Iran, calls it a "modern inquisition".

"The situation for literature is much worse," said a source. Yaghoub Yaadali, a 36-year-old television director, received a suspended jail sentence last summer on charges of "spreading lies, defamation and insulting a tribal minority". In his book, The Rules of Restlessness, a fictional character has an affair with a woman from an ethnic Bakhtiari village. It won Iran's highest honour for literature, the Golshiri award, in 2004. As with any other work, it was only published after obtaining permission from the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance. When he was sentenced to three months in jail, suspended for nine months, last September it caused a sensation in Iranian intellectual circles. His supporters were dumbstruck when, on appeal last month, the court toughened the sentence to actual imprisonment. "It's unheard of," said one Iranian. The writer was ordered to begin his sentence before the Iranian new year, (21 March) but hopes that if he completes the articles the jail time will be suspended.

The censor's verdict is even falling on new editions of published works. The Culture Ministry demands changes, and if the demand is not met, halts publication. One author of a children's book was told: "You wrote about a duck named 'Brave', but the duck isn't brave, the frog is brave." He responded that he couldn't change the title because it was translated from another language, and in any case it was a children's book. He also pointed out that it was the second edition. A television presenter got into hot water for writing a poem which said "in my dreams I think of you in the middle of the night" because of perceived sexual innuendo. The verse was removed.

On 6 March, the general director of public libraries, Mansour Vaezi, warned a conference of library directors that their libraries would be purged of inappropriate works. Academic freedom has also been severely restricted in the three years since President Ahmadinejad came to power. University faculty members deemed to be "problematic" are being forced into retirement, and even sacked.

Even a Tehran cleric, Hojatoleslam Hadi Ghabel, was ordered to be defrocked by a special court in the holy city of Qom, for criticising President Ahmadinejad and the spiritual leadership. He spent 47 days in jail awaiting trial and was given a three-year prison sentence. "This is a modern inquisition by the Islamic authorities," said Mr Ghaemi. "If they get away with it this time, there's no saying where it will end."

Photo Hunt - I spy

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt is I-spy which was a real head scratcher. After a bit of thought I decided to repost a photo I put up on the Poor Mouth last year. It is a macro shot of part of a WWI group photograph. The photo is of the not-wife's great grandfather's Royal Engineers unitn on the Western Front but. When I saw it my eye was drawn to the banjo player who bore an uncanny resemblance to Josef Stalin

Stalin

I then noticed that the man to the left looked rather like the Blackadder character Captain Darling

As ever perhaps the link to the theme is a bit tenuous but I can say "i-spy" a soviet dictator and a tv sitcom character!

George Galloway beggars belief once again

No further words required, except to state the blindingly obvious: The man is an utter arsehole

Desperadoes

The US had Bonnie and Clyde then Starkweather and Fugate. These two bandits have terrorised the badlands of Romford, going on a tri-garden murder spree. If caught, they'll get the chair.... or the sofa

This week's entry for Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats.

Seven Good Things in Life

I was tagged a little while ago by Grendel. The meme in question is called seven good things in life. Well here goes....

1. The not-wife has to be number one in my list. We have known each other for over 26 years now. She constantly reminds me that she would have got far less time if she had done me in back in 1982!

2. Having the furry foursome curled up around you seeking attention. Like all pets Robyn, Ted, Bebe and Mimi give their love unconditionally.... just so long as they get their nine square meals a day that is

3. The Chase or Cranham Marsh. Even in the edge of the London sprawl there are places I can go to and forget where I am

4. A nice bottle of Chateau Musar or a Cote Rotie, good company and good conversation

5. Losing myself in music. Hawkwind and headphones are a marriage made in heaven

6. A good book – the perfect way to block out the misery of commuting

7. Being out an about with my camera in the hope of getting a pleasing photo.

Who to tag? Hmm I know. Feel free to carry on the meme if you want

Spain raises the Eurovision stakes

Spain has risen to the Eurovision challenge laid down by Dustin the Turkey and chosen a reggae-rapper with a grotesquely inflated toupee and a minuscule plastic guitar to represent the nation. Rodolfo Chikilicuatre’s "Baila el chiki chiki" (Dance the chiki chiki) romped home in a televised contest watched by two million Spanish fans who voted by text and email.

The Elvis-parodying performer, flanked by two cheesy dancers, has had to remove mocking references to Spain's recently re-elected Prime Minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, his conservative opponent Mariano Rajoy, and the Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, to meet Eurovision rules that ban songs with any political content. But the names Jose Luis and Mariano survive, along with Chikilicuatre's grandmother, his nephew and "my mulatta waving her knickers in her hand", who like to "dance the chiki chiki".

Unfortunately many Spaniards take Eurovision seriously: "State television is irresponsible to let Spain be associated in Europe with Chikilicuatre," lamented El Mundo, whose editor called upon Spanish television's director Luis Fernandez to answer before a parliamentary committee for the damage caused to Spain's image. El Pais newspaper commented: "His humorous fabrication sums up the grubbiest of so-called popular music... the painful rubbish Spain has taken to Eurovision in the last 20 years. Let's see if our contribution blows up this deplorable festival of sequins and grinning presenters. We wish him luck."

Chikilicuatre is comedy actor, David Fernandez, 38. His act's all-but-meaningless lyrics and tacky image is the brainchild of the singer-songwriter Pedro Guerra and the comic actor and film director Santiago Segura.

It's official! I'm an idle sod

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Low
Pride:	Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

I knew I was bone idle this seems to prove it. I thought I would score higher on lust though!

h/t to Paulie for this quiz

Lazare Ponticelli – the last poilu

French President Nicolas Sarkozy announced the death today of Lazare Ponticelli France's last surviving World War One veteran. "Today, I express the nation's deep emotion and infinite sadness," he said.

Mr Ponticelli was born on 7 December 1897 in Emilia Romagna, northern Italy. He made his way, at the age of nine, to France to join his two brothers, and worked in Paris as a chimney sweep and paper boy. In August 1914 he lied about his age in order to join the French Foreign Legion. He was 16 at the time.

Mr Sarkozy said there would be a national day of remembrance for France's war dead in the coming days as he marked Mr Ponticelli's death. "I salute the Italian boy who came to Paris to earn his living and chose to become French, first in August 1914 when he lied about his age to sign up at 16 for the Foreign Legion to defend his adopted homeland. Then a second time in 1921, when he decided to remain here for good."

Mr Ponticelli, who lived with his daughter in a southern suburb of Paris, had initially refused a government offer of a state funeral, the AFP news agency reported. But he later decided to accept "in the name of all those who died, men and women", during WWI.

There are now just 13 WWI veterans left

Richard Thompson - Beeswing

I was nineteen when I came to town, they called it the Summer of Love
They were burning babies, burning flags. The hawks against the doves
I took a job in the steamie down on Cauldrum Street
And I fell in love with a laundry girl who was working next to me

Oh she was a rare thing, fine as a bee's wing
So fine a breath of wind might blow her away
She was a lost child, oh she was running wild
She said "As long as there's no price on love, I'll stay.
And you wouldn't want me any other way"

Brown hair zig-zag around her face and a look of half-surprise
Like a fox caught in the headlights, there was animal in her eyes
She said "Young man, oh can't you see I'm not the factory kind
If you don't take me out of here I'll surely lose my mind"

Oh she was a rare thing, fine as a bee's wing
So fine that I might crush her where she lay
She was a lost child, she was running wild
She said "As long as there's no price on love, I'll stay.
And you wouldn't want me any other way"

We busked around the market towns and picked fruit down in Kent
And we could tinker lamps and pots and knives wherever we went
And I said that we might settle down, get a few acres dug
Fire burning in the hearth and babies on the rug
She said "Oh man, you foolish man, it surely sounds like hell.
You might be lord of half the world, you'll not own me as well"

Oh she was a rare thing, fine as a bee's wing
So fine a breath of wind might blow her away
She was a lost child, oh she was running wild
She said "As long as there's no price on love, I'll stay.
And you wouldn't want me any other way"

We was camping down the Gower one time, the work was pretty good
She thought we shouldn't wait for the frost and I thought maybe we should
We was drinking more in those days and tempers reached a pitch
And like a fool I let her run with the rambling itch

Oh the last I heard she's sleeping rough back on the Derby beat
White Horse in her hip pocket and a wolfhound at her feet
And they say she even married once, a man named Romany Brown
But even a gypsy caravan was too much settling down
And they say her flower is faded now, hard weather and hard booze
But maybe that's just the price you pay for the chains you refuse

Oh she was a rare thing, fine as a bee's wing
And I miss her more than ever words could say
If I could just taste all of her wildness now
If I could hold her in my arms today
Well I wouldn't want her any other way

Richard Thompson - Cooksferry Queen

WW - Gravestone

This week's entry for the Tuesday and Wednesday edition of Wordless Wednesday.

Mugabe finally admits food shortages but blames Britain

Robert Mugabe has finally admitted that Zimbabwe faces a grave food crisis amid the collapse of the country's agriculture. But he blamed it on "racist" Britain trying to oust him at this month's presidential election. Responding to pleas at a campaign rally from local officials of the ruling Zanu-PF party "to ensure the speedy distribution of food in the province as people were running out of supplies", Mugabe accepted there was a crisis.

The World Food Programme says 45% of Zimbabweans are suffering chronic malnourishment because of "poor agricultural policies and a declining economy". The WFP feeds about 2.5 million people and other agencies are providing food to about 1 million. But large numbers of people are surviving on far fewer calories than they need, leaving them vulnerable to illnesses, particularly the large proportion of the population with HIV at risk of developing full-blown Aids.

The government had promised "the mother of all agricultural seasons" this year after repeated crop failures. But agriculture has again been hit by the weather, compounded by a fall in production since the redistribution of white-owned farms to black farmers. The situation has been worsened by a shortage of fertilisers because of a lack of currency for imports, and frequent power cuts that have hit irrigation. Overall food production has fallen by about 70%. Mugabe has, until now, ridiculed claims of a food crisis as "western propaganda". Now he says it is a foreign conspiracy led by Britain to return the land to white farmers.

At a separate rally to hand out 500 tractors, 50,000 ox-drawn ploughs and combine harvesters to small-scale farmers, Mugabe blamed food shortages on western sanctions, which Britain says are aimed only against senior political figures and their families, but which the Harare government alleges are also blocking international loans. "When government embarked on the land reform programme, the dark forces of imperialism sought to strangle our agro-based economy through the spiteful closure of financial loans and grants to us. They tell us that the sanctions are targeted - lies!" Mugabe said ."This hate programme by Britain and her fellow racists imposed unjustified sanctions on Zimbabwe in futile attempts to frighten us off our land. They should remember that we are not that easily scared away. Indeed, they should also remember that we cannot desecrate the sacrifices that we paid for this country, not today, never, never, ever."

Mugabe said the government had ordered 530,000 tonnes of maize but only 5% of that had been delivered because of "logistical problems" caused by Zambian railway workers "taking their time" to load goods wagons "as they did not understand the severity of the problem in Zimbabwe". The country needs 2m tons of maize each year to feed its population.

Hmm, I find it grimly amusing to see Mugabe trying to foist the blame for the rank incompetence of his regime on to external conspirators. The truth is that he is the architect of Zimbabwe’s misfortune and nobody else. Zimbabweans go to the polls on 29 March but it is unlikely that he will be defeated. Despots like Mugabe will do everything they can to cling to power. I only hope it does not end in civil war.

Leon Greenman. RIP

Leon Greenman , the only English Jew to be sent to Auschwitz has died aged 97. He devoted many years of his life to life testifying about Nazism. I wish I had heard him speak.

Rest in Peace, Leon

My first Sea Cucumber Haiku

Holothurian
Will eviscerate itself
if you tread on it

Hmm perhaps a bit lame. I will try better next time

British humour is in the genes? Shurely shome joke?

It would appear that the British have a talent for caustic satire and painful put-downs may in fact have a hereditary basis: A survey of more than 4,000 twins suggests that humour regarded as typically British – sarcasm and self-deprecation – is linked to genes found in British men and women, but not shared, for instance, by Americans (surely they jest?).

While telling jokes and looking on the bright side of life – which researchers dubbed positive humour – is common to both sides of the Atlantic, only in the UK did they discover genetic links with negative humour – biting sarcasm and teasing. Experts admit that the results have left them baffled. "It is possible that differences exist between these nations in their sense of humour and that these may be the result of different genetic and environmental influences," said Dr Rod Martin, one of the researchers.

He highlighted the difference between Ricky Gervais's dreadful character David Brent and his much less embarrassing US counterpart played by Steve Carell. "The British may have a greater tolerance for a wide range of expressions of humour, including what many Americans might consider aggressively sarcastic or denigrating: like Fawlty Towers and Blackadder. In the North American version of The Office the lead character is much less insensitive and intolerant than in the original UK version," he added.

The study looked at genetic and environmental contributions to humour in nearly 2,000 pairs of UK twins. A second US study examined the humour of 500 sets of North American twins. The results revealed that positive humour – saying funny things, telling jokes, a humorous outlook on life – was linked to genes and was shared by twins in the UK and US. However, negative humour – teasing and ridicule – appeared to be genetically linked only in Britain.

Dr Martin, from the University of Western Ontario, said the aim was to find out whether humour has a genetic basis. "In North American families, there was a genetic basis to positive humour, but negative humour seems to be entirely learned. Growing up in a family where negative humour was practised was important in the development of that sense of humour. "In the UK, both positive and negative styles had a genetic basis in the sample. The genetic basis to negative humour in the UK was close to 50 per cent. Certainly in the UK, TV humour is more biting, whereas in North America it tends to be blander. One theory is that these styles of humour are associated with other personality traits that probably have a genetic basis. Self-defeating humour tends to be highly correlated with neuroticism. People who tend to be more negative, depressed and anxious tend to use that kind of humour."

A genetic link to humour? Is the scientist having a laugh? Is the “My dog has no nose” joke hard wired into our DNA? Do we have a primal urge when two or more are gathered to recite the Parrot sketch? Or should he have stuck to the Biochemists’ song book? (I can assure everyone that I never purchased a copy of this book when a Physiology and Biochemistry undergraduate way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth)

Edible Antifreeze

An Edible antifreeze (as opposed to normal antifreeze which may be sweet tasting but certainly won’t put hairs on your chest, although it may put an inscription on a headstone) has been developed by a US researcher which could keep ice cream tasty and smooth, and prevent other frozen foods from being ruined. It contains protein similar to those which help "snow flea" insects survive winter without freezing solid

The taste of good ice cream depends on a blend of flavour, temperature, and texture. The formation of tiny ice crystals, each around 15 to 20 microns wide, is crucial to making smooth ice cream. But if ice cream is subjected to sudden temperature fluctuation these crystals can grow and can ruin the texture of good ice cream. Gum-like carbohydrates are used by manufacturers to restrict the movement of water molecules and prevent big ice crystals from forming in ice cream. However, as anyone who has tasted crunchy ice cream will know, these carbohydrates do not work perfectly.

Srinivasan Damodaran at the University of Wisconsin-Madison is experimenting with edible antifreezes made from gelatine, which is much more effective at preventing ice crystals from ruining ice cream, he says. Damodaran's antifreeze is made by partly digesting gelatine with papain. The most effective antifreeze is "strikingly similar" to that of natural antifreeze found in snow fleas which remains active throughout winter. Others are also developing edible antifreeze. The European food company Unilever has patented yeast genetically modified to produce antifreeze from Arctic fish blood. Meanwhile, Canadian researchers are testing one made from winter wheat.

"But using gelatine as a source has the advantage of being easy to supply because it is a by-product of the meat and leather industries," said Andrew Wilbey an ice-cream expert at Reading University, UK. (Reading University has a large food science department).

Hmm Since the not wife is vegan we eat Tofutti, Swedish Glace and sometimes Rakusen’s (kosher food is a boon to vegans) rather than Ben and Jerry’s et al...It will be a cold day in hell before gelatine is used in any of those products!

Saluting the Sea Cucumber Part III

Not only does the sea cucumber have potential medical applications, it has also been immortalised in music and poetry.

In 2003 academic Robin Gill produced a 480 page book called Rise Ye Sea Slugs which brings together (possibly for the first time in English) around 1,000 haikus on the subject of our holothurian hero. Apparently they have been the subject of the Japanese poetry form for centuries this including this one from 1690:

This sea slug
is it too beastly for
proper monks?

And one from 1951 by Gijô

A few drinks
and I am a sea slug
out of water

(Taken from Danny Yee’s review of the book here). Wonderful stuff. I feel a purchase coming on!

More famous of course is Erik Satie’s composition Embryons desseches. The first movement is called holothurie and concentrates on the so-called purring of the holothurians (????). In his description on the score Satie wrote: “The Holothurian crawls across boulders and rocky surfaces. This sea-animal purrs like a cat; also, it produces disgusting silky threads. Light appears to have an incommodating effect on it.”

Make of that what you will. Sadly YouTube has no footage of it being played. It’s a shame also that no artist deigned to paint this versatile beast. Albrecht Durer painted a beautiful hare. I’m sure he could have done the Sea cucumber justice too!

Saluting the Sea Cucumber Part II

Not only have sea cucumbers inspired the creation of a material that could revolutionise brain implants they may also provide a new weapon in the war against malaria.

Sea cucumbers produce a protein, lectin, which impairs development of the parasites. An international team genetically engineered mosquitoes - which carry the malaria parasite - to produce the same protein in their gut when feeding. The study found the protein disrupted development of the parasites inside the insects' stomach. Malaria causes severe illness in 500 million people worldwide each year, and kills more than one million.

To stimulate the mosquitoes to produce lectin, the researchers fused part of the gene from the sea cucumber which produces the protein with a gene from the insect. The results showed that the technique was effective against several of the parasites which cause malaria. Lectin is poisonous to the parasites when they are still in an early stage of development called an ookinete. Usually, the ookinetes migrate through the mosquito's stomach wall, and produce thousands of daughter cells which invade the salivary glands, and infect a human when the mosquito takes a blood meal. But when exposed to lectin the ookinetes are killed before they can start their deadly journey.

Researcher Professor Bob Sinden, from Imperial College London, said: "These results are very promising and show that genetically engineering mosquitoes in this way has a clear impact on the parasites' ability to multiply inside the mosquito host." However, he said much more work still had to be done before the technique could be used to curb the spread of malaria. "Although the sea cucumber protein significantly reduced the number of parasites in mosquitoes, it did not totally remove them from all insects. At the current stage of development, the genetically modified mosquitoes would remain dangerous to humans. Ultimately, one aim of our field is to find a way of genetically engineering mosquitoes so that the malaria parasite cannot develop inside them."

Professor Sanjeev Krishna, an expert in malaria at St George's Hospital Medical School, London, said new treatments for malaria were vital, as there was some sign that the parasites which cause the disease were developing resistance to the current artemisinin drugs. "This is a very important first step in developing a potential new way to control this infection."

Dr Ron Behrens, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said the technique showed promise in theory - but he warned that introducing genetically modified mosquitoes could be fraught with practical difficulties. "You would have to get the modified version to become the predominant species, and that has never been done in any setting before.”.

Professor Brian Greenwood, London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: "This is elegant science but only one of the ways that have been found to inhibit development of the malaria parasite in the mosquito midgut using genetic manipulation. The key factor that will determine whether these approaches will ever become a practical malaria control tool is finding a way of ensuring that the genetically engineered mosquitoes take over from the wild ones."

Saluting the Sea cucumber part I

The sea cucumber is an echinoderm and (is thus a relative of the starfish) and of the class Holothuroidea. It has an elongated body and leathery skin, which is found on the sea floor worldwide. It is so named because of its cucumber-like shape (well it wouldn’t be called a sea cucumber if it looked like a patty pan I suppose). It is interesting to read that this humble group of animals have some important medical applications.

The response of a startled sea cucumber has inspired a new material that could one day be used to build brain implants for patients with Parkinson's disease. The material can rapidly switch from being rigid to flexible and vice versa. Writing in the journal Science, US researchers describe how species of the sea creatures "tense" when threatened. The new material mimics this ability, and could be used to make advanced brain electrodes which are stiff when implanted, yet supple inside the body. Adding water changes the state of the material.

The structure of the as yet un-named material mimics the skin of sea cucumbers which have collagen nanofibres embedded in a soft connective tissue. "These creatures can reversibly and quickly change the stiffness of their skin," explained Dr Jeffrey Capadona, another member of the team. Normally it is very soft; but for example in response to a threat, the animal can activate its 'body armour' by hardening its dermis."

Changes to the stiffness of the sea cucumber's skin are thought to be triggered by chemicals secreted by the animal's nervous system that rearrange the collagen threads. In the absence of water, the nanofibres are held together by chemical links known as hydrogen bonds. This gives the material its rigidity. When exposed to water, the water molecules "competitively bond" with the fibres.

This ability to morph could help build therapeutic devices to be implanted into the brains of patients who suffer from Parkinson's disease, stroke or spinal cord injuries. At present, there are a number of research teams hoping to develop "artificial nervous systems" that aim to treat these disorders. These systems need to "plug" into nerve cells within the brain - known as cortical neurons - to record electrical activity. But animal studies have shown that the quality of the brain signals recorded by implanted electrodes often degrades after a few months.

One hypothesis is that stiff electrodes damage the surrounding brain tissue. "There is a mechanical mismatch - the electrode is rigid but the brain is more like jello," said Dr Weder.

The team believes that an implant built on a substrate of the new material could overcome this problem, by being rigid during implantation, and softening once in the body. Dr Weder also has his eye on other applications for the material. Potentially, electricity rather than water could be used to switch its state."Smart bullet proof vests, prosthetics - the list goes on and on," he said.

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Photo Hunt - Different

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt is different and yet again what shall I post? Once again I will stretch the meaning of the different for a few photos from the garden of Langtons House in Hornchurch, Essex. An English public garden should swans and ducks and here Langtons does not disappoint


However they have something very different too....




Red eared terrapins are not native the the UK but are a common sight in lakes thansk to teh Teenage Mutant Ninja turtle craze of the 90s. Parents bought cute little turtles for their kids and then discovered they grow... hundreds were dumped in lakes . They don't breed here but they will be around for a long time

1,500th post

Once again Mimi is astonished to hear that I have continued to churn out so much drivel....

Yegods it's horrible!

Ted is horrified that there is a huge dog on the telly. This week's entry for Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats.

A joke for the passing of Ian Paisley

Ian Paisley has given notice that he is standing down as first minister of Northern Ireland. It's been odd to see the man who threw snowballs at Taoiseach Sean Lemass in 1965 and who working well with Martin McGuinness. How Peter Robinson performs remains to be seen.

There is plenty of analysis of Paisley's career elsewhere. I'll just post a Paisley joke instead.

Ian Paisley goes into a coma. After twenty years he regains consciousness. The first person he sets eyes on is Peter Robinson.

Paisley, desperate to find out how the situation in the north turned out grabs hold of Robinson and says "Peter, what have I missed over the last 20 years? Did we win, did we lose? You've gotta tell me"

Robinson replies "Well Ian, I've got some good news and some bad news. Do you want the good or the bad first?"

Paisley thinks about it for a minute and say "Gimme the bad news first"

Robinson: "Well the bad news is that Gerry Adams is the new president of the United Ireland"

Paisley is shocked but enquires further "So what's the good news then?"

Robinson: "Rangers are beating Celtic in the cup final" Paisley is delighted by this and asks "What score is it?"

Robinson: "3-14 to 1-11"


Well I thought it was funny!

5th sentence page 123

I saw this meme over at Finding Life Hard? and I thought I'd give it a go. THe rules are

1. Look up page 123 in the nearest book to you at the time.

2. Find the fifth sentence and write it down. Then write down the three sentences that follow.

3. Once you've done this find three other people you'd like to tag and pass it to them.




The nearest book to hand is the one I'm currently reading: The Irish and the Spanish Civil War by Robert Stradling.

The fifth sentence is:

• If ever a complete list of members had existed at NCP offices, it had gone missing

The next three sentences are:

• At least a third of the corps had possessed passports in 1936.
  

• But these documents were collected by Tom Gunning in Spain, and many were never returned.
  

• Gunning was supposed to be making a complete list of names and addresses, though it seems likely he never completed this task.

I won't pass it on but feel free to have a go if you want.

Rhett Butler’s chopper

This item in today’s Independent caught my eye and certainly made me think how times have change in Ireland. The country's notoriously strict film censors banned violent movies such as A Clockwork Orange, The Wild Bunch and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But they didn’t stop there by a long chalk: Such seemingly inoffensive titles as Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Brief Encounter, The Quiet Man and On the Waterfront were also banned or heavily censored. In all, about 11,000 films were cut and about 2,500 completely banned.

Dublin's censors sliced through celluloid with an almost zealous energy. Movie-goers watched Gone with the Wind blissfully unaware of the passionate clinches between Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, which were deemed far too hot for the Irish screen. In one famous instance, censors in the staunchly Catholic country even cut footage of the Pope. Today, things are very different with just four hardcore pornographic films and one violent video game banned last year. The Censorship Office is to be renamed the Classification Office.

In the old days, the censor would solemnly set out his reasons for prohibiting all showings of films such as King Creole. "I have had much trouble, particularly from headmistresses of girls' schools," he explained, "regarding the antics of Elvis Presley with his most suggestive abdominal dancing." Another censor, who banned 200 films in one year alone, was appalled by the amount of kissing. He protested that Hollywood depicted kissing "to the accompaniment of the most sensuous music, lavishing miles of celluloid on this unsanitary salute".

The state's first film censor, James Montgomery, said: "I take the Ten Commandments as my code." He had a fixation with the perils of dancing: cutting or banning movies which featured "indecent dancing and the customs of the divorcing classes in England and America".He once declared: "If I had my way I certainly would reject any film which shows the rumba." Even a sequence from Singing in the Rain was sent to the sin-bin for lingering on the limbs of one of Gene Kelly's partners.Casablanca was banned during the Second World War because of sensitivities about Irish neutrality. After the war, it was permitted but with significant cuts that excised any reference to the romance between Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. That was deemed to offend Irish Catholic morality.

Sexual affairs, homosexuality, birth control, abortion and prostitution had no chance. The version of The Graduate seen in Ireland was baffling. First it was banned altogether. But the censor then allowed it, leaving 11 sections on the cutting-room floor and removing all references to Dustin Hoffman's affair with Anne Bancroft. As John Kelleher put it: "The seduction scene is at the core of the film but the Irish audience, which was not allowed to see that scene, remained blissfully unaware they were having anything more than a nice cup of tea." Even the word "virgin" was forbidden, and Montgomery once complained that a film "bulged" with babies. He said in a reproachful report: "It will dispel the cabbage myth from the child mind and bring a blush to the cheek of the unmarried young girl sitting holding hands with her embarrassed boyfriend in the darkest part of the cinema."

The Catholic church also used the practice to protect its image. A scene in On the Waterfront in which a priest buys Marlon Brando a drink was snipped since it was thought inappropriate for a priest to drink in public.Depictions of lapsed or defrocked clerics were chopped. The Pope was cut from a 1937 newsreel because of acute sensitivity over representations of the sacraments. One unlikely victim of the censor was Cliff Richard. The Irish public missed out on scenes in the 1959 movie Espresso Bongo in which Cliff was given a massage and later seduced.

How times have changed! Not all progress is for the better but if it means not chopping the crux of the Graduate then I’m all for it!

Award, Award

It's always nice to be appreciated and get awards - it proves that there are connoisseurs of the sort of drivel I serve up on the Poor Mouth daily! So here goes

From Siani, who I first encountered online nearly seven years ago

From Poons

From the Teach

Thanks y'all. Once again I have footage of the award ceremony!

Music inspired by a Wordless Wednesday post

This week Pelfy chose fish heads as the subject of her photograph for Wordless Wednesday. My first thought was "fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads. fish heads fish heads eat them up yum". It was a just a short step to you tube and a quick search for Barnes & Barnes.....

WW - Camellia

This week's entry for the Tuesday and Wednesday edition of Wordless Wednesday.

The Department of Astrological Warfare

When in a desperate situation people will resort to desperate solutions. This was definitely true during WWII where there are hundreds of bizarre stories to be told. I find it quite amusing to see reports in today’s papers (and BBC Breakfast News) that MI5 employed an astrologer in the war against the Reich.

German Louis De Wohl, who claimed to have been the son of a Hungarian nobleman, had moved to Britain before the war and written a number of books on astrology, including one he called Secret Service of the Sky. He came to MI5's attention in 1940 through connections with people interned because of their suspected pro-German sympathies. He did not "speak a word of Hungarian", observed one MI5 officer, who added that De Wohl "claims to have often frequented cafes in Berlin in feminine attire".

It seems that MI5 were particularly keen on De Wohl. Another MI5 officer described De Wohl as a "tame astrologer of German upbringing who is employed by SO2 [SOE's sabotage section] for their own fell purposes". Their to De Wohl is reflected in its suggestion that before he was granted British citizenship he should be tested about who he knew, "including any German harlots". One MI5 officer described De Wohl as a "bumptious seeker after notoriety".

SOE, however, gave De Wohl the rank of captain having persuaded intelligence officers that he could use horoscopes to influence Hitler and his advisers. "An attack against Hitler at a time when he knows that his aspects are bad will certainly find him prone to some amount of defeatism, to force his hand then would be a definite advantage for us," enthused one of De Wohl's supporters. They included Admiral John Godfrey, director of naval intelligence, on the grounds that the stars seemed the only explanation for Hitler's unpredictable strategic decisions.

In the summer of 1941, SOE sent De Wohl on a lecture tour of the US, armed with horoscopes to show the American public that Hitler would be defeated. His talks and interviews received widespread media coverage. In June, under the headline "Seer Sees Plot to Kill Hitler", the New York Sun ran a report in which De Wohl forecast that Hitler was "doomed" and would be "done away with within a year". He was also involved in a forged "master plan" by Hitler to take over Latin America. It was the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941 which brought the US into the war.

An MI5 officer reported that none of De Wohl's predictions had materialised except his forecast of Italy's entry into the war, made when that was "quite patent to anybody with the slightest knowledge of international affairs". The historian Christopher Andrew, whose official history of MI5 is due next year, the 100th anniversary of the agency's birth, said yesterday that despite De Wohl's claims, Hitler in fact regarded astrology as a "complete nonsense".

Conflict edging closer in South America

Following the death of Raul Reyes at the hand of Colombian forces Ecuador has followed Venezuela in stationing troops on its border with Colombia. There is an escalating military standoff between the three countries. Hugo Chávez, the Venezuelan President, called for the country’s armed forces to be placed on a war footing after Colombia killed a top Marxist guerrilla on Saturday just inside Ecuadorean territory. “If you think of doing this in Venezuela, we are going to send you some Sukhoi [fighter jets]," Mr Chávez said. “We don't want war, but we aren't going to allow the US empire, which is the master [of Colombia] ... to come and divide us.”

Ecuador, ruled by Rafael Correa, a Chávez ally, initially reacted calmly to news of Colombia's military operation that killed top FARC commander Raúl Reyesand at least 16 other rebel fighters. But he sharply stepped up his rhetoric after consultations with Mr Chávez, who blasted his Colombian counterpart as a "criminal" and a puppet of the US Government.

Ecuador has now expelled the Colombian ambassador in Quito, with the President calling the operation “an unacceptable aggression”.

Colombia has claimed that the Ecuadorean Government was developing links to the FARC rebels, who are classified as a terrorist group by the US and European Union. Colombian authorities displayed a document they said had come from a laptop seized from FARC rebels in the operation. The letter, which detailed a meeting between Reyes and the Ecuadorean security minister, Gustavo Larrea, showed that “Ecuador was interested in making official its relations with the FARC”, a Colombian official said.

Despite the rising tempers in the region, many analysts believe that an outright war is not imminent. Some believe that Mr Chávez is using the incident to distract from his problems at home and to rally wavering supporters to his side. “Chávez is facing an extremely difficult situation inside his own country,” said Carlos Malamud, Latin America analyst at the Madrid-based Royal Elcano Institute. “His popularity has dropped considerably and his greatest concern is the lack of basic products on the shelves. So he wants to try to rally his supporters and Venezuelans in general behind nationalist and anti-imperialist slogans.”

However, analysts worry that a misstep by any one of the three sides in the conflict could spark fighting along what has traditionally been a volatile border. “When you play with fire, you could get burnt,” Mr Malamud said. “Someone on either side could make a mistake that ends up blowing up into conflict.”

Colombian president, Álvaro Uribe, had previously ended an effort by Mr Chávez to negotiate an exchange of 40 political hostages held by FARC for hundreds of guerrillas in Colombian jails. Mr Uribe accused Venezuela’s leftist president of backing the Marxist rebels in its four-decade quest to overthrow the Colombian Government. Chávez has dropped any semblance of even-handedness in the conflict, calling Colombia’s operation “a cowardly murder” and lauding the dead FARC commander as “a true revolutionary”.

Presumably the hallmark of a true revolutionary is to be part of a group that makes money though extortion kidnapping and facilitating the cocaine trade. Perhaps Chavez will extend the same praise to the Mafia. Amidst the presidential dick swinging there is a real risk that a minor incident could be the trigger for a pointless war. Here’s hoping the people of Venezuela, Ecuador and Colombia do not have the stomach for conflict.

Backwaters of history: the Cocos Islands mutiny

The Cocos Islands are an Australian territory about halfway between Australia and Sri Lanka consisting of two atolls and about two dozen coral islands. In 1942 it was the site of one of only a tiny handful of mutinies perpetrated by allied soldiers during WWII - Indian soldiers mutinied on Christmas Island and surrendered the island without a fight. The biggest mutiny took place at Salerno in 1943, there was also a mutiny of RAF personnel in India in 1946 although it was more of a strike than an actual mutiny. The ringleaders of the Cocos Islands mutiny were the only Commonwealth soldiers to be executed under military law during the Second World War.

The Cocos Islands had no strategic value as such but it was the site of an important cable relay station. It was garrisoned by units of the Ceylon Defence Force, including the Ceylon Garrison Artillery (CGA) and the Ceylon Light Infantry (CLI).

By early 1942 British fortunes in the Far East were at their lowest ebb: Singapore and Hong Kong had fallen; the army in Burma was in headlong retreat; Japanese aircraft had sunk the battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse and the aircraft carrier Hermes; Ceylon was at great risk from seaborne invasion. Add to the military reverses a situation where relations between soldiers and their commanding officer on Cocos Islands had broken down (apparently the methods used by the commanding officer George Gardiner were widely hated. Both he and his second in command were accused of deep racism), a fear of what would happen to them if they had to fight the Japanese and, possibly, knowledge of the successful mutiny on Christmas Island two months before.

Led by Bombardier (corporal) Gratien Fernando fourteen members of the CGA battery on Horsborgh Island mutinied on the night of 8/9 May intending to hand the islands over to the Japanese. The mutineers planned to arrest Gardiner, disarm loyal troops then train the battery’s guns on soldiers on a neighbouring island. They would then signal Japanese forces on Christmas Island. However, the plan failed: Fernando’s men were poor shots and at a vital moment a Fernando’s Bren gun jammed. One loyal gunner, Samuel Jayasekera, was killed.

A Field General Court Martial was held on Cocos Keeling, Fernando and six others were sentenced to death. However, the Judge Advocate General in New Delhi, after reading the Court Martial reports, decreed that just three of men were to be executed. Fernando,along with Benny de Silva and Carlo Gauder were hanged in Ceylon’s Welikade Jail in August 1942. The four men whose death sentences were commuted and four others were sentenced to prison terms of between one and seven years.

No Ceylonese regiment was deployed in a combat situation after the Cocos Islands Mutiny.

Phew what a loony Part 7394

Although already overcrowded Lunatic lane has welcomed a new resident in the shape of Oscar winner Marion Cotillard. The appearance on the internet of an interview she gave last year in which she questioned 9/11 and the moon landings could well wreck any chance of a Hollywood career

In an interview, given to French TV show Paris Premiere, Cotillard appeared to suggest the attacks on the World Trade Center were staged to avoid the expense of refurbishing them.

"We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes, are they burned?" There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [in New York], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed.

The Twin Towers, she claims, were a "money sucker" that would have cost much more to modernise than to destroy. Cotillard then went on to cast doubt on the Moon landings "Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it and I really wondered. In any case I don't believe all they tell me."

Ms Cotillard desperately needs to block the signals from Radio Rense. It’s just as well that her Oscar can be melted down to make a very effective tinfoil-style hat.

A happy Van Gogh painting goes to auction

I’ve always thought of Vincent Van Gogh as a permanently troubled artist I had no idea that in the final weeks before committing suicidet he painted a set of child portraits that radiate the optimism and purity of youth. One of these works is to go on sale. L'Enfant à l'Orange (The Child with an Orange) will be offered at the European Fine Art Fair in Maastricht next month for £15.3m. It has been placed on the market by the Swiss couple, Arthur and Hedy Hahnloser, who bought it in 1916.

The portrait is of Raoul Levert, the baby son of a local carpenter, was painted at the end of June 1890 at the Auberge Ravoux in Auvers where he had been a lodger. It was during a brief period of contentment before depression and mental illness led him to shoot himself in the chest the following month.

Van Gogh had spent a year in a mental hospital before moving to Auvers in May 1890. He was apparently ecstatic at being in a new environment and in a space of just 70 days he painted more than 80 works. The portraits he worked on during these last weeks included several pictures of children.

Raoul Levert is shown wearing the traditional child's smock of the time in L'Enfant à l'Orange, with a broad smile in soft and vibrant colours. The identity of the child was confirmed by the late Adeline Ravoux, the daughter of the innkeeper, who was photographed standing next to Raoul outside the Auberge Ravoux in 1890.

Mugabe and the planeloads of cash

It is normal practice for despots and dictators to strip their nation’s assets and send them overseas, preferably to a nice discreet bank account in Switzerland or the Caymans. Robert Mugabe, however, is a despot who bucks that trend – He ships planeloads of cash INTO Zimbabwe to prop up his faltering regime.

According today’s Sunday Times planeloads of banknotes are flying into Harare almost every day to keep up with the demand of a nation with 100,000% inflation. Giesecke & Devrient (G&D) is receiving more than €500,000 (£382,000) a week for delivering bank notes at the rate of Z$170 trillion a week. The highest value 10m Zimbabwe dollar note worth just 20p. “The regime is surviving by printing money,” said Martin Rupiya, professor of war and security studies at the University of Zimbabwe. “At this stage there is no other way.”

According to a source at the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe, G&D delivers 432,000 sheets of banknotes every week to Fidelity printers in Harare, where they are stamped with the denomination. Each sheet contains 40 notes and the current production is entirely in Z$10m notes. Some of this money was used to award huge pay rises to the army in an apparent move to buy their loyalty ahead of the presidential and parliamentary elections on March 29. Teachers belonging to a union supportive of the government were also given large sums. Soldiers received windfalls of between Z$1.2 billion for privates and Z$3 billion for officers, while teachers received Z$500m on average. Those belonging to the Progressive Teachers’ Union of Zimbabwe, which criticises Mugabe, were excluded.

“G&D are literally bankrolling the regime,” said a Zimbabwean banker who could not be named for fear of reprisals. “These notes are being used to buy votes, to purchase foreign exchange to import electricity and vehicles to keep their regime going, and to fund the import of Chinese water cannons and police equipment to keep us intimidated. They are profiting from evil and should be named and shamed.”

G&D’s involvement is embarrassing for the German government which has been one of the most vocal supporters of EU sanctions against members of the Mugabe regime. Chancellor Angela Merkel has taken a tough stance on Zimbabwe, speaking out at the EU-Africa summit in Lisbon last December to insist that the world cannot stand by while “human rights are trampled underfoot”. A German foreign ministry spokesman said, however: “It’s their economic decision. According to current EU sanctions, the government does not have any legal basis to take action.”

G&D has been printing the country’s notes for several decades, and provided the same service to Mugabe’s predecessor Ian Smith.

Watch out for leeks

Today is the Feast day of St David, the patron saint of Wales. It is said that he employed the leek to defeat the Saxons. Although they are good eating they are not known for their effectiveness as weapons. Apparently he had soldiers to wear them so as to identify each other during had to hand combat. As a result they became his symbol. However, nobody goes around (as far as I know) wearing them on 1 March.

But beware! 16^th Century Herbalist William Turner has this to say about the tasty alium: “ The leek breedeth wind and evil juice and maketh heavy dreams. It stirreth a man to make water and is good for the belly. But if you boil a leek in two waters and afterwards steep it in cold water it will be less windy than before”

I never knew leeks were carminatives but there you have it.....

A couple of blasts from the past

Hello Hooray - Alice Cooper



This FLight Tonight - Nazareth