Lest we forget....

Or has he been killed

Al Jazeera has been reporting that Gaddafi is dead. Again we will know sooner or later if this is true..

Gaddafi captured?

The world's press is buzzing with the rumour that Colonel Gaddafi was captured earlier today as he was trying to flee Sirte. It is said that he was wounded in both legs.

Truth or scuttlebutt? I daresay we will know soon enough

It’s Sunday night in Rome....

Just a gigolo

You’re a beautiful young woman in Rome. You have been recruited to attend a lavish function. Do you:

1. Expect Silvio Berlusconi to turn up and slobber down your cleavage
2. Get whisked off to a sun kissed resort by a rich, but elegant Playboy
3. Get a lecture on Islam and be sent packing with a 50 Euro note and a copy of the Koran?
   

If you answered c) you are correct. According to the BBC the girls received a lecture on the wonders of Islam by Muammar Gaddafi, who was in town for the UN food summit.

Having been selected the women were taken to an imposing reception room, they were then left waiting for an hour without so much as a glass of water until Gaddafi arrived and proceeded to preach the benefits of Islam, taking particular pains to assure his guests that it was not misogynistic, and encouraging them to convert.

Two hours later, the women left, looking a touch bemused, 50 euros ($75; £45) better off and clutching a copy of the Koran.

So there you have it - just another Sunday night in the eternal city

Muammar the Magnificent bombs New York

Muammar fails to impress with his walnut cracking routine

Err that should have been “bombs in New York” Surprisingly after 40 years at the top of the Libyan comedy circuit Muammar had never had the chance to play New York until yesterday.

Dressed in saffron robes and a black felt hat Muammar the Magnificent grabbed his 15 minutes of fame during an open mic night at the UN building in New York and ran with it. He ran with it so hard he stretched it to an hour and 40 minutes, six times longer than his allotted slot, to the dismay of organisers.

Sadly his ventriloquism routine did not impress either

Gaddafi fully lived up to his reputation for eccentricity, bloody-mindedness and extreme verbiage. Opening his act with one of his trademark acts of strength he tore up a copy of the UN charter in front of a startled audience he then accused the security council of being an al-Qaida like terrorist body, called for George Bush and Tony Blair to be put on trial for the Iraq war, demanded $7.7tn in compensation for the ravages of colonialism on Africa, and wondered whether swine flu was a biological weapon created in a military laboratory. At one point, he even demanded to know who was behind the killing of JFK.

Sadly Muammar the Magnificent’s trademark style did not go down well, Critics were united in panning his act agreeing that he had blown his chance of the big time after 20 years in the wilderness.

While it works for some acts he chose the wrong audience to insult blatantly. It was not a good idea to turn his wrath on to America, Britain, France, Russia and China - the permanent members of the Security Council, or "terror council" as he renamed it. Their veto was tantamount to terrorism. "This is terrorism, like the terrorism of al-Qaida. Terrorism is not just al-Qaida, it takes many forms.”

Muammar was distressed when he didn't get an encore

He then suddenly changed tack, heaping praise and devotion on the one man he appears to respect. "Now the black man doesn't have to sit in the back of the bus, the American people made him president and we are proud of that. We would be happy if Obama stayed president of America forever." Despite this it was clear that he would not be working in that town again

His agent made told an audience at a subsequent Q&A session that Muammar the Magnificent was suffering from severe frustrations having been banned from pitching a tent in Central Park. On a brighter note it was announced that he would be would be supporting Tommy Tiernan (qv) on a 16 date tour of Leitrim and Cavan in November. Tommy Tiernan is said to be relieved that he now has a support act guaranteed not to be funnier than he is