A sublime pain index

QI is a wonderful tv programme which has intriduced me to so many fascinating facts and subjects, including .tmesis (an abso-bloody-lutely great word!), Little Titch, the Jumping Frenchmen of Maine or Thomas Midgley the scientist who gave the world CFCs and leaded petrol.

Last Friday the porgramme introduced me to entomologist Justin O Schidt who has devoted his life to cataloguing pain induced by insect stings. He has created the Schmidt pain index which ranks insect pain from 0 (little effect) to 4 (bloody awful!). As a good and conscientious scientist he has endured all the pain himself. What's better is his absolutely delightful descriptions of the pain?


Here is an extract published on Wikipedia:


* 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.

* 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.

* 1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.

* 2.0 Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.

* 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.

* 2.x Honey bee and European hornet: Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.

* 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.

* 3.0 Paper wasp: Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.

* 4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.

* 4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.

I doubt there is a scale that describes its subjects in such a glorious way! Justin O Schmidt is truly a scientist among scientists!

The Jumping Frenchmen of Maine

Right from the very first episode when it mentioned Tmesis (where one word, often an expletive, is inserted in another word eg, abso-f*cking-lutely) the comedy quiz QI has never ceased to entertain and inform me. If it hadn’t been for QI I may never have found out about Thomas Midgely Jr or the fact that the Number of the Beast is in fact 616. Last night there was a question about fainting goats - oh what the hell, here’s the footage of some fainting goats I posted last year:

The goats suffer from a genetic condition called myotonia congenita which makes them appear to faint when stressed. As part of the explanation of the condition there was mention of a similar condition in humans called the Jumping Frenchmen of Maine.... The Jumping Frenchmen of Maine? I had a mental picture of legions of Bips leaping into the air in north eastern USA.

In fact the Jumping Frenchmen of Maine is a disorder that was first described by GM Beard who, in 1878, noticed an exaggerated "startle" reflex among French-Canadian lumberjacks in Maine. An event which might startle a normal person would cause an extended and exaggerated response in sufferers including crying out, flailing limbs, twitching, and sometimes convulsions. The sufferers also have an automatic reflex to obey any order that is delivered suddenly. They will often display echolalia, repeating the order. These features were described by Beard as follows:

“One of the jumpers while sitting in his chair with a knife in his hand was told to throw it, and he threw it quickly, so that it struck in a beam opposite; at the same time he repeated the order to throw it…. When the commands are uttered in a quick loud voice the jumper repeats the order. When told to strike, he strikes, when told to throw it, he throws it, whatever he has in his hands…. “

The disorder is related to conditions seen elsewhere in the world; including Latah (whose sufferers display very similar symptoms). They all appear to be related to Hyperekplexia which is believed to be caused by a genetic mutation which prevents neurons from receiving the amino acid Glycine which acts as an inhibitory neurotransmitter in the Central Nervous System. It prevents the central nervous system from overreacting to stimuli. However there is still debate about the cause the Jumping Frenchmen condition: some researchers believe that the disorder is psychological rather than neurological.

And who says television rots the brain!

The Number of the Beast Devalued?

A lot of people say that television rots the brain. I say sometimes it can be an education. BBC2 showed a repeat of the cerebral spoof quiz QI last night. Interestingly it was the episode that spurred me on to this post about Thomas Midgely Junior , a great inventor who inadvertently became an environmentalist’s worst nightmare (he developed leaded petrol and determined that CFCs made excellent coolants).

In the same episode there was a question about the number of the beast. The obvious answer was six hundred, three score and six. This is an incorrect answer according to the show. The real answer may in fact be 616. Extensive research on the matter ( okay, I admit it - a quick Google) revealed that this may be the case

A few years ago advanced imaging techniques made it possible to decipher a hoard of previously illegible manuscripts discovered in an ancient dump outside the Egyptian city of Oxyrhynchus. The papyri were first excavated in 1895, but were badly discoloured and illegible using the technology of the time One of the papyri contained a a fragment from the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament and showed the number 616 as the mark of the Antichrist.

I have no opinion if this is the case or not but i t did strike me that some changes may be necessary:

618 becomes the neighbour of the Beast

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia will have to be replaced by something equally long and unpronounceable

24.8193473 replaces 25.8069758 as the root of all evil.

Bruce Dickinson will also have to change the lyrics to this song:



The A616 will officially be the road to hell, while children taking the shcoolday only route from Winchmore Hill to Edmonton Green will fear for their immortal souls (it being route 616 of course...)
Who says that all tv is simply chewing gum for the eyes?