Putting passion into the beautiful game

Last month the BBC reported that a Bolivian football team's former physiotherapist had an unusual treatment to improve performance at high altitude (on the pitch that is.. anything else was a bonus I’m sure). He gave players Viagra.

Rodrigo Figueroa told La Prensa newspaper he had prescribed Viagra, which oxygenates the blood, to at least nine players in his team, Blooming. The team is from Santa Cruz which is400m (1,300ft) above sea level. They were playing in the capital La Paz which is more than 3,500m (over 11,000 feet)

He stressed that Viagra was not on the list of banned drugs"We prescribed it for several players, especially those who suffered most from altitude," said Mr Figueroa. He had, he explained, administered the product by mixing it with fruit juice.

Hmm I suppose his idea was to turn the inexperienced into hardened players who could mount a stiff defence and penetrate their opponent’s (penalty) box. Damn I can only think of three smutty double entendres... I must be slipping!

Viagra scammers convicted

Five people were convicted yesterday of a multi-million pound conspiracy to sell fake Viagra in the largest ever counterfeit drugs case in the UK. Thousands of customers bought the tablets for up to £20 each but many complained they had no effect or caused nausea.

Pills were manufactured in China and Pakistan were, smuggled into Britain, repackaged and sold online to customers in the US, UK and Bahamas. The products were almost identical to the real thing - containing 90% of the active ingredient, with carefully forged packaging, logos and patient information leaflets. Regulators said customers were put in danger because of other possible ingredients.

Salesman Gary Haywood, 58, student Ashwin Patel, 24, and businessman Zahid Mirza, 45, of Ilford, were all found guilty last month of taking part in the conspiracy. Two other defendants have not yet been named. A spokesman for the MHRA said: "There is no such thing as a safe counterfeit. For all we know they could have been made in someone's garden shed."

Presumably this is what those bloody spam adverts are really selling. I daresay there was no shortage of takers either. I was going to make jokes about splints, Mycoxafloppin and Ibepokin but this IS a family blog after all!