Every part of the Yew tree
Taxus Baccata is deadly poisonous except for the berry (although the seed is pretty poisonous too if you crunch into it). This is a wise move given that the Yew depends on birds to disperse its seeds. It would be pretty foolish if the berry killed its seed transporter. The seed passes thought the birds GI tract undamaged and is deposited in a nice little bit of fertiliser.
"the Yes tree", then the "Yeew"
ReplyDeleteHa! You are excelling yourself my man, keep gathering the terrible typos and trapping them for me. Good job :)))
Hee, hee. Is there a corresponding "No" tree?
ReplyDelete"Where shall we meet my darling? Under the Yes tree or the No? The Yes, I hope..."
Oh dear my dear Don you are hallucinating again. I see no Yes or Yeew. I think a nice long rest at the Muir of Ord Hilton would do you the power of good!
ReplyDeleteAll men want the yes tree I am sure Andrew!
ReplyDeleteAlthough some men think the No tree means yes
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on Version II, much better (although knowing you perhaps it is really version III or IV).
ReplyDeleteI shall buy Dulcinea a hundred Yes trees for me to create an orchard for her to greet me in on every return. The young men of the locality will help her plant it while I am off on my Questing. She says the young men of the locality are a very helpful lot.
But with you Jams, No usually means Now, and Yes usually mean Yew, and Maybe usually means Mayday and etc., etc., etc. Did you train as a typesetter for the Guardian?
ReplyDeleteand with me, above "mean" means "means" (2nd line), of course, which I claim as an ironic, or even sardonic, insertion :)
ReplyDeleteAh those brawny Scottish laddies. It is god to know that they are willing to help Dulcinea in such matters
ReplyDeleteAh Andrew it was the Grauniad where I trained!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that my typo virus is infectious
It looks fascinating close up.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cherie!
ReplyDelete"It is god to know"... Hmm. Insightful philosophy or another damnable offence...
ReplyDeleteAh... Thank God for Cherie. At last a sensible comment.
ReplyDelete"Thanks God for Cherie"?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the appreciation. I am quite pleased with how she turned out myself.
Returning to Jams' place so soon I may be getting accused of favouritism. So many blogs, so little time. Life was easier before blogging when all I had to cope with were the earthquakes, floods, famines (causing them all, that is) and throwing down the occasional miracle just to give you all some desperate hope to cling to, hee hee.
One thing I notice though Jams is that these days your blog page takes an inordinate time to load (even with my system, and I have the best, now that Steve Jobs has arrived) because you have so many photos and videos to display on the main page (Steve says, that is, because I am clueless about these things, preferring messaging via tablets of stone). Toodle pip. Duty beckons...thunderbolts at the ready (I love this job).
A most damnable offence Don!
ReplyDeleteHaha Andrew!
My dear deity I would take on board the skills of Mr Jobs o allow you to spot ne'erdowells more effectively. Perhaps the use of virtual thunderbolts to hit people in their motherboards would be a modern take on the traditional fire and brimstone. This would of course give the angel of death more time to pursue his hobbies
The Angel of Death? Doesn't he live with you? You know him by the name of Ted? This idea of thunderbolts striking motherboards sounds more like one of Ted's schemes rather than your's. He works for me, does Ted, you know? And he can teleport thoughts into dumb humans (and you sound the type). All that God v Devil and Good v Evil stuff is nonsense by the way - we are all in it together.
ReplyDeleteSo God and the Devil are part of one big cartel?why does not that surprise me. It explains why Ted is employed by you, God but is like Satan's sidekick!
ReplyDeleteYou betcha baby! We got all angles and avenues and options covered. We are the ultimate One Stop Shop. You want Good? You want Bad? We're you're lads (Nice slogan eh? Steve Jobs has gone straight to work on the marketing angles and the snazzy smooth brushed steel redesign of the old Pearly Gates (Peter aint pleased but he is just SO Windows, heh heh)... Would you like me to put you on our mailing list? You will find the prices very reasonable (albeit paid in ownership of parts of your soul rather than silly money) and having us on your side will smooth your path through life remarkably. We also do double glazing, doors and solar panels BTW, or could get some rough Irishmen to repave your drive no bother at all.
ReplyDeleteDear God: Typos, Smileys and Windmills (wind turbines included). How much to banish the lot?
ReplyDeleteOooooh... DQ. Let's see... Could do ya a special deal for the sane parts of your soul (which are not many, let's be honest) and a night with Dulcinea for me and Pete. But you'd have to sign up now. Offer ends tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteDulcinea!?
ReplyDeleteBe gone Foul Demon! I have added you to my list. So that's: Typos, Smileys, Windmills (wind turbines included) and God and All his Works. Beware! My lance is turning your way and Rocinante is ready.
Sigh...
ReplyDeleteAhh! but who or what is God?
ReplyDeleteI suppose it doesn't really matter. Based on this comment thread God seems to have good taste ;-)
I am proud of you Cherie. If only I could make a few more like you but I just can't ever get everything quite the same. But who am I? That will always be a mystery to you (and so it should be).
ReplyDeleteI think maybe creating everyone with 'free will' may cause the differences...
ReplyDeleteMysteries are there to be explored ;-)
The greatest mystery, and the most annoying, is how can Ted be more evil than me. Not fair not fair not fair.
ReplyDelete"Free will"?
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew that I had it myself. Did I have any choice about being God? I think not. Do I have any choice about what I do? I know not. Sometimes I even worry that I may just be some figment of somebody else's mad imagination and about to disappear in a puff of nothing when they decide the joke has gone on for long enough.
So many doubts... Perhaps you are not God (whoever/whatever that is) after all...
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest that God should start his own blog... but then I realised, perhaps he already has, and we are living in it. If so I wonder what sort of funny comments are left about us on it. And I wonder how many blogs God has? I also wonder if we are all just different aspects of the same thing really - Me, Don QuiScottie, Beelzebub, Dulcinea, God... everyone and everything. I have my suspicions that all is not what it seems (here, there and everywhere). Don't you? Goodnight.
ReplyDeleteI feel the God collective...
ReplyDeleteGoodnight,
Sweet dreams ;-)
God, Don, Andrew and of course Beelzebub. It is good to see you engage in discourse and it is god to see Cherie entangled in your web of surreal hilarity.
ReplyDeleteBeelzebub, suck it in. Ted is far more evil than you could ever be... I can look out the window and see the bird bath has been converted into a lava pit!
God, your life blog is a rum one. Some may call it life, some may call it a strange and peculiar piece of performance art!
So this is where you've been hiding then God, on the bloomin' blogosphere. Wazzup Big Man? You are supposed to speak only to me. We don't talk any more. Or ever, actually. Every damn night since I was elected I have been awaiting your instructions but... nothing, nadda, zilcho. I think some are beginning to suspect I am just winging it with this divine instructions stuff and making it up as I go along. Give me a buzz, eh? I've seen the despairing little notes left by all my predecessors too. Do you even have our number!?
ReplyDeleteWell then pontiff who needs the switchboard operator when God can dial direct!
ReplyDeleteOh btw get some better clothes those dresses make you look stupid.
How does a post about a fucking misspelled berry end up with this rabble and rammy when I am just silently trying to expand the space in which supposedly nobody can hear you scream. Sheesh! Shut the fuck up the lot of you or heat death will be accelerated pronto. After 14 billion years, or so, I lose track of time sometimes, I am finally losing my patience with this game. I need to go on a diet by the way, have you seen the size of me recently? Hang on,better check for typos before Don QuiFuckinScottie gets on my case, cos that coulld be the end of everythang...
ReplyDeleteAh my over sized omnipresent chum it is amusing to see how a little typo can lead to dire consequences!
ReplyDeletePerhaps it would be best to accelerate entropy a bit and have done with it before this argument gets really out of hand
It's like a broken button with a secret centre.
ReplyDeleteWhat a delightful description Stan!
ReplyDelete