Ancram calls for Tories to return to its dark heart.

Michael Ancram, former deputy leader of the Tory party under Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard, has issued a call for David Cameron to restore the party's "soul" by returning to core values. Returning from a short sabbatical as lecturer of metaphysical politics at Miskatonic University in Arkham Massachusetts, Mr Ancram stated the he wished henceforth to be known as Michael Alhazred, His recently document, The Necronomicon: a Blueprint for Victory, has been seen in some quarters as an attack on Cameron's drive to move the Conservatives into the political centre ground.

Some elements of the Tory right have been attracted to what they feel is the true spirit of Thatcherism. There has already been some support for his proposals for inner city regeneration: “...the lightings of Heaven poured down in stroked of livid and cleansing flame, and the great pillars fell, slowly, one by one, and all they who had come hither crushed in the falling of the great stones”. However, some more centrist conservatives consider his view that Cameron is “damned forever, and cannot even find forgetfulness in red howling madness” a trifle extreme.

Conservative Central Office has made no official comment on Mr Alhazred’s document except to reject a call for David Cameron to change his surname to Cthulhu “We do not feel that name would attract the centre ground”, a spokesman said.