Amon Thriller

Having proved last year that Elvis Presley’s career started long before the Ed Sullivan Show

“references in the Annals of Tacitus to a singer called Gyratus who sang popular songs including Tenere Me Ama, Non Adamare Non Possum and Nunc hic aut numquam. Unfortunately I am not sure we will ever determine whether Elvis is a reincarnation of Gyratus or if indeed he is immortal. Then again some things should remain within the realms of faith”

Now we have proof positive that Michael Jackson did not start his career in the early seventies in the Jackson 5. A sculpture on display at Chicago’s Field Museum, indicate that he had a career entertaining Pharaohs over three Millennia ago

According to the local pressin Chicago the Field Museum has had a limestone sculpture (above) from ancient Egypt on display since 1988. However it is only recently that it has drawn attention. This is surprising since it is a perfect likeness of Jackson right down to the disfigured nose.

“I have no idea whether Jackson ever visited the museum,” a Field spokesperson said “But it could be proof that Jackson started his career in entertainment 3,000 or so years ago. There are a number of hieroglyphic messages that we need to decode, but they seem to refer to a singer with a strange nose who walked as if he was imbued with the spirit of Thoth (the Egyptian Moon god)."

If further proof was required Jackson cast himself as an interloper in ancient Egypt in his video for “Remember the Time,” so maybe he was paying tribute to his Egyptian roots.

Vivat Rex!

It’s amazing what you can miss when you shun TV, papers and the internet for just a week. Had I accessed any of the above I would have whooped with delight at the idea of Radovan Karadzic, spending the rest of his life continually dropping his soap; I would have been utterly dismayed at the loss of Glasgow East. However, I am sorry I missed what must have been the biggest story of the past week: proof that The King is immortal.



Look at this carving. The features, the swept back hair and the quiff are unmistakably those of Elvis but the carving of the King was created around 1800 years before his appearance on the Ed Sullivan show. The amazing likeness has come to light as part of a sale of ancient antiques by the auction house Bonhams. The Roman Elvis is an acroterion - an architectural ornament often found on the corners of sarcophagi - and forms part of a collection owned by Melbourne-based Graham Geddes - one of the world's most foremost collectors - which is estimated to sell for more than £1m when it goes on sale in October. The Elvis sculpture is 2nd Century AD and is estimated to make £25,000 to £30,000.


A spokesman for Bonhams said: "It is perhaps the strangest item in the sale and it clearly proof positive that Elvis lived a previous life in Rome. It certainly allows Roman experts to make sense of references in the Annals of Tacitus to a singer called Gyratus who sang popular songs including Tenere Me Ama, Non Adamare Non Possum and Nunc hic aut numquam. Unfortunately I am not sure we will ever determine whether Elvis is a reincarnation of Gyratus or if indeed he is immortal. Then again some things should remain within the realms of faith”