Ban those killer biscuits

I knew lion taming was perilous, as are base jumping, skydiving and extreme ironing. I never thought that I would ever read that eating biscuits was a danger though (except to the waistline). Apparently about 25 million adults have been injured while eating the humble biccy - with at least 500 of them landing themselves in hospital.

According to the Telegraph these are the findings of a survey, Most dangerous among the Twice-cooked is The custard cream biscuit which came top in a table of 15 generic types of biscuit. The relative dangers of each type was calculated by The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.

Research company Mindlab International were commissioned by Rocky, a chocolate biscuit bar, to conduct the research. It found almost a third of adults said they had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants of a collapsed digestive.

It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in 10 had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit. More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.

Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal.

The list of shame (with BITE rating)
Custard Cream 5.64
Cookie 4.34
Choc Biscuit Bar (eg: Rocky) 4.12
Wafer 3.74
Rich Tea 3.45
Bourbon 3.44
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Digestive 3.14
Ginger Nut 2.99
Shortbread 2.90
Caramel Shortcake 2.76
Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16

Titter ye not but I am among the biscuit wounded. Earlier this year I broke a tooth on a particularly feisty cookie