09 September 2009

Ban those killer biscuits

I knew lion taming was perilous, as are base jumping, skydiving and extreme ironing. I never thought that I would ever read that eating biscuits was a danger though (except to the waistline). Apparently about 25 million adults have been injured while eating the humble biccy - with at least 500 of them landing themselves in hospital.

According to the Telegraph these are the findings of a survey, Most dangerous among the Twice-cooked is The custard cream biscuit which came top in a table of 15 generic types of biscuit. The relative dangers of each type was calculated by The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.

Research company Mindlab International were commissioned by Rocky, a chocolate biscuit bar, to conduct the research. It found almost a third of adults said they had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants of a collapsed digestive.

It also revealed 28 per cent had choked on crumbs while one in 10 had broken a tooth or filling biting a biscuit. More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.

Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as 'dunkability' and crumb dispersal.

The list of shame (with BITE rating)
Custard Cream 5.64
Cookie 4.34
Choc Biscuit Bar (eg: Rocky) 4.12
Wafer 3.74
Rich Tea 3.45
Bourbon 3.44
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Digestive 3.14
Ginger Nut 2.99
Shortbread 2.90
Caramel Shortcake 2.76
Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16

Titter ye not but I am among the biscuit wounded. Earlier this year I broke a tooth on a particularly feisty cookie

17 comments:

angus said...

Snap! or should that be ginger snap?:)

catsynth said...

A friend of mine posted this article earlier. Quite amusing.

jams o donnell said...

Haha indeed Angus

It's a good story eh Catsynth!

SandyCarlson said...

Wow. The coffee sellers have to post "contents are hot" on their to-go cups. What to put on the biscuit? "Dangerous when dunked"?

raj said...

great post James...

jams o donnell said...

And "may damage eye" as well Sandy!

Thanks Raj

CherryPie said...

I am wondering just what people do with biscuits that causes a damaged eye...

Indrani said...

The biscuits should come with a 'statutory warning' message.

jams o donnell said...

Better you don't aske Cherie!

Can seriously damage your girth, Indrani!

Claudia said...

I can't think of a more delicious way to go than choking on a scrumptious cookie. Bring them around, by the dozen...

Claudia said...

Changed my mind. No cookie is going to get me! Thanks for the warning.

jams o donnell said...

Haha Claudia!

Anonymous said...

Did the research company have anything to say about dimwits choking on pretzels?

Liz said...

I saw the headline on a news site but it took so long to load I gave up, so I'm glad to read about it here.

Why particularly the custard cream, do you think?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Uhu... they are onto something here. A biscuit connection?

Knatolee said...

If I had to choke on biscuits, I would much rather choke on English/Irish biscuits, rather than the crap they call "cookies" in Canada!! Caramel shortcake, mmmmmmmm! You guys are so biscuitly-advanced compared to us North Americans.

Chocolate fingers, mmmmmmmm!

jams o donnell said...

Only one dimiwt was thick enough to do that Roger!

I did wonder for a second if this had rumbled another of the Elders' neafairous plans

Choking on choggy fingers.. a better way to go than an Oreo Knatolee!