A tale of two water fights

Earlier this month the Grauniad carried this report

In the 40C heat of an Iranian summer, what better way to have fun and stay cool than a water fight with friends? In the Islamic republic, however, things are a bit more complicated.

For one group of boys and girls, their game turned serious when they were arrested for taking part in a water pistol fight in a park in the capital, Tehran.

Last Friday hundreds of enthusiasts used plastic pistols and empty bottles to play in the ironically named Garden of Water and Fire for hours and, to the surprise of many, without police interference. But the event – organised on Facebook – prompted criticism from conservatives when pictures of it emerged online days later.

The head of Tehran's morality police, Ahmad Roozbehani said: "A mixed-gender event took place on Friday ... They had been asked to bring water pistol toys, which most of them had in hand ... they acted against social norms."

Iranian MPs also condemned the water fight, spreading the debate nationwide. Hossein Ibrahimi, a conservative MP, said such events would spread "corruption" and were "shameful".

The arrests of the organisers and participants of the event came after conservative websites urged the regime to identify those behind the water pistol fight.

Organised on a Facebook page called "Tehran's water pistol fight", the event attracted more than 14,000 people and prompted pages promoting similar events in other cities such as Isfahan and Karaj.

Potking Azarmehr, a London-based Iranian blogger who has written a post in response to the arrests, said: "There are two issues here which have troubled the regime: people having fun and people organising a gathering through the social media. Both are perceived as a threat by the regime."

Now fast forward to England, 15 August in the year of our lord 2011. Today the Guardian reports:

A man will appear before magistrates next month for allegedly attempting to organise a town-wide water fight through his mobile phone.

The 20-year-old from Colchester, Essex, was arrested on Friday after Essex police discovered the alleged plans circulating on the BlackBerry Messenger service and Facebook.
The unnamed man has been charged with "encouraging or assisting in the commission of an offence" under the 2007 Serious Crime Act, police said.

He was arrested with another 20-year-old man the day the water fight was allegedly due to take place, and has been bailed to appear before Colchester magistrates on 1 September. The second man was released without charge.

A police spokesman declined to disclose whether Essex police had been monitoring the service since the riots. "Essex police use appropriate measures for whatever the crime and wherever our investigations lead us," he said.

The prime minister said last week that the government would investigate whether social-networking platforms should be shut down if they helped to "plot" crime in the wake of the riots.

Speaking during last Thursday's parliamentary debate on the riots, David Cameron said he would investigate whether social-networking sites should be shut down if they helped to "plot" crime. The prime minister said he would "look at whether it would be right to stop people communicating via these websites and services when we know they are plotting violence, disorder and criminality".

He has received support from some Tory backbenchers, including Louise Mensch, who likened such a ban to closing a stretch of rail network after an accident.


The Iranian government regularly blocks phone and social networking sites on the basis of what it describes as criminal activities.

TO me this sounds like a massive over reaction to what looks to me like a trivial nuisance. But then it features Facebook and Blackberry Messenger so it must be evil and stamped out. I can only imagine that Essex Police are riding the wave of hysteria following the riots and are looking to clamp down hard on anything that even smells remotely of public disorder, however remote.

Hopefully when things calm down a little cooler heads will prevail and some of the idiotic ideas being mooted (shutting down social media networks, using the army in riot control, water cannons firing AIDS infected Rotweiller/African Bee hybrids etc) and we will get down to sorting out the root causes (there will be more than one cause) of this problem.

A Greater Iran? I shudder to think

Yesterday a radical cleric called for the creation of a "Greater Iran" that would rule over the entire Middle East and Central Asia, in an event that he said would herald the coming of Islam's expected messiah.

Ayatollah Mohammad Bagher Kharrazi said the creation of what he calls an Islamic United States is a central aim of the political party he leads called Hezbollah, or Party of God, and that he hoped to make it a reality if they win the next presidential election.

Kharrazi's comments were published Saturday in his newspaper, Hezbollah. He said he envisioned a Greater Iran that would stretch from Afghanistan to Israel, bringing about the destruction of the Jewish state. He also said its formation would be a prelude to the reappearance of the Mahdi, a revered ninth-century saint known as the Hidden Imam, whom Muslims believe will reappear before judgment day to end tyranny and promote justice in the world.

" Besides Israel, he said the union would also destroy Shiite Iran's other regional adversaries, whom he called "cancerous tumors." He singled out secular Arab nationalists such as members of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party in Iraq, as well as followers of Wahabism, the version of Sunni Islam practiced in Saudi Arabia.

Kharrazi's comments reveal the thinking of a growing number of hard-liners in Iran, many of whom have become more radical during the post election political. The growing voice of hard-liners like Kharrazi has deepened worries even if it appears unlikely such a divisive figure would win the 2013 presidential election. Kharrazi, however, is not highly influential in Iran's clerical hierarchy and his views do not represent those of the current government.

Still, even President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Thursday that he expects the government which follows his to be "ten times more revolutionary."

Kharrazi sounds like an idiot who would bring the Middle East to destruction (not that there aren’t enough mental cases in the region already). Even if he is not particularly popular across the populace I dread to think who among the Baseej and the Revolutionary Guards are listening to him...

Making the earth move makes the earth move

If you want to hear a cleric make an idiotic statement about people’s actions resulting in natural disasters then all you have to do is wait. Floods are inevitably God’s wrath against gays and so on..... Now it seems that it is painted hussies inciting extramarital sex that cause earthquakes in Iran.

Last weekAyatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at Tehran that: "Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes...Calamities are the result of people's deeds, We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran. This means that all women and post-pubescent girls must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. This does not stop many women from pushing the rules as far as they can, wearing makeup, shorter, fitted manteaus and smaller head scarves.

Clearly women who flout laws incite more sex, during which (in some cases) the earth moves. The more people making the earth move, the more chance of an earthquake. Iran is seismically active so it is therefore feasible that additional, sexually generated , ground vibrations could indeed induce motion in the faults. It is therefore clear that people in all seismically active areas should refrain from sex forthwith. Any Jezebels luring innocent men into actions that could lead to an earthquake must be stoned immediately for the good of the nation. I will personally ensure that all such women are stoned forthwith by importing some finest skunk!

Believe that and you will believe anything! Some people are full of shit, Clerics (along with politicians, ad execs, management consultants, estate agents and newspaper columnists) seem to be over-represented in this category.

Iran a bit touchy over what you call the (insert name here) Gulf

According to the BBC Iran has warned that airlines will be banned from flying into its airspace, unless they use the term "Persian Gulf" on their in-flight monitors. The transport, Hamid Behbahani, minister has threatened to impound planes that fail to comply.

Iran is insistent that the stretch of water separating it from its southern neighbours should be known as the Persian Gulf. Call it Gulf and you will irritate the Iranian authorities; call it the Arabian Gulf and it’s war!
The Iranian transport minister has given foreign airlines 15 days to change the name to Persian Gulf on their in flight monitors. If they failed, they would be prevented from entering Iranian airspace, he warned.

If the offence was repeated, foreign airliners would be grounded and refused permission to leave Iran (hmm I wonder how if they had been refused entry to Iranian airspace......)

Numerous Arab airlines fly into Iran every day, not to mention Europeans and others, so it remains to be seen how they will respond.....

There may be a reason for this move which will be the subject of a later post. In the meantime I have a solution that will please everyone. I suggest that we call it the BRITISH GULF and have done with it!

Going Iranian!

This is the text of an e-mail sent to me by an Iranian expatriate friend. I know it is probablyjust one of those hoax e-mails but I do love the sentiments

I teach at a NYC high school, and recently one student stood up to our
very intimidating principal, (something that almost never happens). When
he did not get permission for what he intended another student said "Let's
go iranian on him." By that he meant organize a protest. And so now they
"IRAN" anything they want to change. So it has become an a verb now and to
"Iran" the situation is to stand up to authority, well at least here in
this corner of the universe. And it is a huge bonus for me because I
cannot usually get them to even pay attention to another part of the
world.

Point being, even these students who get very small amounts of news equate
"Iranian" with bravery and I completely agree, and wish I had that kind of intestinal fortitude.

Well there you have it!