20 April 2010

Making the earth move makes the earth move

If you want to hear a cleric make an idiotic statement about people’s actions resulting in natural disasters then all you have to do is wait. Floods are inevitably God’s wrath against gays and so on..... Now it seems that it is painted hussies inciting extramarital sex that cause earthquakes in Iran.

Last weekAyatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at Tehran that: "Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes...Calamities are the result of people's deeds, We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran. This means that all women and post-pubescent girls must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. This does not stop many women from pushing the rules as far as they can, wearing makeup, shorter, fitted manteaus and smaller head scarves.

Clearly women who flout laws incite more sex, during which (in some cases) the earth moves. The more people making the earth move, the more chance of an earthquake. Iran is seismically active so it is therefore feasible that additional, sexually generated , ground vibrations could indeed induce motion in the faults. It is therefore clear that people in all seismically active areas should refrain from sex forthwith. Any Jezebels luring innocent men into actions that could lead to an earthquake must be stoned immediately for the good of the nation. I will personally ensure that all such women are stoned forthwith by importing some finest skunk!

Believe that and you will believe anything! Some people are full of shit, Clerics (along with politicians, ad execs, management consultants, estate agents and newspaper columnists) seem to be over-represented in this category.

8 comments:

Claudia said...

Sometimes I think that we should all have remained at the ape stage...They are more clever, and kinder, than some of the humans I hear and see.

jams o donnell said...

I'm not sure that leaving the sea was a good idea!

Claudia said...

Hahaha!

jams o donnell said...

Just nicking a line from Hitchhkers Guid to the Galaxy!

Claudia said...

We probably came from space. I think we were kicked out here because we were hopelessly retarded, and our caretakers got fed up with us. Now I improved with time, but some never did.....Sleep well!

jams o donnell said...

IF there is intelligent life in the Galaxy I hope they are better than us.

As for coming form space,we inevitably do... We are at the end of it made of stars

SnoopyTheGoon said...

"Some people are full of shit..."

Either that or they have an exaggerated opinion of male sexual prowess.

By the way, this kind of "opinion" was voiced by clerics of Christianity and Judaism as well. Nice to know they all agree about something at least.

jams o donnell said...

Ah it's good to see the Children of Abraham united in arseholery