From the coughers to the coffers

From the age of 16 until my late 30s I did my bit to raise the Government’s coffers by smoking at least a pack of cigs a day (at one point nearly two packs). It was only the choice between breathing and smoking that made me reconsider my position (and by hell it was a tough decision!). In all that time did Geoffrey Howe, Nigel Lawson, Kenneth Clarke, The Prince of Greyness, , Badger Lamont or Gordon Brown once thank me for paying more tax while reducing the amount of time I would draw a pension?

A typical Chancellor, note the lack of gratefulness...

Russian counterpart Alexei Kudrin has announced increases in duty on alcohol and cigarettes, However the Telegraph reports that he has acknowledged the sterling, nay, STAKHANOVITE efforts of Russian smokers and barflies!

He is reported to have said that that by smoking a pack, “you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates. People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state,” he told the Interfax news agency.

Alcohol and cigarette consumption are already extremely high in Russia, where 65 per cent of men smoke and the average Russian consumes 18 litres of alcoholic beverages per year, mainly vodka, according to official statistics.

Duties on cigarettes are among the lowest in Europe, with most brands priced at around 40 roubles (85p) per pack and unfiltered cigarettes selling for much less.

Once again there you have it. Perhaps I should have been awarded at least an MBE for my past services to the Exchequer! Add to that the heroic amounts of alcohol I used to drink, especially while part of the Immigration Service and perhaps it should be upgraded to at least a CBE!

Strange even after the best part of 10 years of not smoking I still think that they float down from heaven on the wings of Cherubim… Until I smell one of the bloody things any way!

The chessboard killer

On Wednesday Alexander Pichushkin was found guilty of guilty of 48.(although he had claimed to have murdered 63) Known as the “Bitsevo maniac” or “Bitsa beast” and “the chessboard killer” (he marked off his kills on a chessboard and had apparently planned to kill one person for each of the 64 squares), Pichushkin, was well known in Moscow's Bitsevsky Park. The 33-year-old supermarket worker would play chess there then invite his opponents for a drink afterwards. They would go to a quiet part of the park where the victim would be attacked with a hammer.

Pichushkin began his murderous career in 1992 when at the age of 18, he killed a neighbour’s boyfriend. The boy Sergei, was found dead in his apartment and police initially believed it was suicide. (It is also thought Pichushkin later killed the neighbour whose body was found in Bitsevsky Park in 2002). Pichushkin did not kill again until. Most victims were thrown into sewer ducts but seventeen were lying where they were killed.

As with many other similar killers, he claimed to have had a difficult life. He'd never known his father and his mother had placed him in a institution before he was removed to live with his grandfather. When the grandfather died, Pichushkin would go walking in the park with his dog. But then the dog died and he buried it in the park. Then he grew depressed.

Psychologist Mikhail Vinogradov interpreted the murders as being prompted by anger at his grandfather for "abandoning" him. There was also a sexual subtext: Pichushkin had described his criminal career as a "perpetual orgasm". In an interview, Pichushkin had stated "A life with murders is a life without food." He also stated that he believed he had opened a door for his victims and given them a "new life." The killing had been "a necessity”. Experts at Moscow's Serbsky Institute, Russia's main psychiatric clinic, declared that he was not mentally ill and was fit to stand trial.

It took just two hours for the jury to find him guilty of all charges.. Yesterday he returned to the courtroom and declared he was "almost God" with the power to decide who would live and who would die. "A huge number of people have been trying to decide my fate. Meanwhile, I alone decided the fate of 60 people," he said in a final statement "I was prosecutor, judge and executioner. I decided who was to live and who was to die. I was almost God," he said. "I did not break any laws. I was above them."

Pichushkin will be sentenced on Monday. Chief Prosecutor Yury Syomin has recommended that he be sentenced to life in prison, with the first 15 years in isolation, given his violent nature. Russia has a moratorium on the capital punishment as part of its obligations before the Council of Europe.

Pichuskin will have the extremely dubious distinction of joining the list of notorious serial killers which already includes fellow Russians Andrei Chikatilo and Sasha Spesivtsev (with its brutal history Russia has produced a legion of mass murderers).

Andrei Chikatilo

Chikatilo (aka “the Red Ripper” and the Butcher of Rostov” is Russia’s most prolific serial killer who murdered 53 women and children between 1978 and 1990. He was convicted in 1992 and executed in 1994. Spesvitsev committed at least 19 murders in Novokuznetsk, Siberia between 1991 and 1996.

Macho, Macho Man

Annoyingly, yet one of the big stories of the past week or so passed me by utterly. It wasn’t until last night’s Mock the Week did I learn that Russian president Vladimir Putin had gotten a Prince Albert and had been photographed in various macho poses while on holiday in Tuva in the far south of Siberia. On further reading I discovered that he had been photographed in various macho poses while on holiday in Tuva WITH Prince Albert of Monaco.

According to the International Herald Tribune the Russian paper Komsomolskaya Pravda published a huge color photo of the bare chested president, under the headline: "Be Like Putin." along with a guide showing exactly what exercises were required to build up a torso like that of the Russian leader.

The photographs have had Kremlin watchers spending long hours trying to work out what sort of political message they might convey. One Russian radio talk show host speculated that the pictures were meant to enhance Putin's personal appeal to voters and thus a signal that he doesn't plan to relinquish power when his current term as president ends next year. Russian gay chat rooms and blogs claimed that Putin, by stripping to his waist, was somehow pleading for more tolerance of homosexuality in Russia — where gays and lesbians are for the most part forced to remain closeted.

The 54-year-old Russian leader has long cultivated an image of machismo and manliness. Well-known as a downhill skier and black belt in judo, Putin has appeared on national television engaging in other manly including a truck, operating a train and copiloting a fighter jet. The new set of photos could thus be another manifestation of his mystique. However, Stanislav Belkovsky, head of the National Strategy Institute think tank, took the view that they were nothing more than an effort to reassure Russians that Putin knows how to relax — and was preparing for retirement.

Personally I think the photos give an absolutely clear message: Putin, tiring of life at the helm of a massive and troubled nation has decided on a new career path and will be joining the Village People once his current term ends.

The only problem is that he can’t seem to make up whether he want’s to be the Cowboy or the Soldier...