Iran unveils plan to conquer galaxy

Fars news agency  has announced that Iran has developed an unmanned flying saucer

Called "Zohal" in Farsi (which translates as Saturn) the saucer was designed and developed jointly by Farnas Aerospace Company and Iranian Aviation and Space Industries Association (IASIA),.

The initial version, which is designed just for aerial imaging, is equipped with an auto-pilot system, GPS (Global Positioning System) and two separate imaging systems with full HD 10 mega-pixel picture quality and is able to take and send images simultaneously.

Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution Ayatollah Seyed Ali Khamenei was reported to be delighted with progress and hoped that an improved version equipped with warp drive and quantum torpedoes will be ready as planned by 2020.

US intelligence sources believe that this taken together with the development of new body armour for the revolutionary guard (see above) is an indication that Iran may have a strategy for expanding its influence beyond the bounds of earth.

“a saucer equipped with faster than light technology and quantum armament is likely to be a match for any space faring civilization in this sector of the galaxy” a spokesman said,

Israel delivers crushing blow to Iran

Tensions in the Middle East could lead to war at any time but perhaps there is an alternative to military conflict.

According to the Washington Post an Israeli has broken the record for most simultaneous games of chess played by an individual on Friday, seizing the title from a chess master from Iran.

Alik Gershon played 523 people, moving from board to board in a Tel Aviv plaza. He started Thursday and finished overnight, winning 454 of the matches, losing 11 and drawing in 58.

The previous record was set last year by Iranian champ Morteza Mahjoob, who played 500 opponents at the same time in a Tehran arena.

The new record holder acknowledged the tensions between the countries. "Hopefully this is the only war we are going to have with this enemy, ever," Gershon said.

This is not the only Guinness title to be drawn into Mideast politics.
Israel has a long-running competition with Lebanon over who can make the world's biggest plate of hummus, which is seen as a national dish in both countries.

The record has changed hands several times. Lebanon is the current holder, after making a 10-metric-ton plate of the chickpea dip earlier this year.

Palestinians have also tried to set Guinness records Children in the Gaza Strip now hold records for the most people simultaneously flying kites and dribbling basketballs: 3,000 and 7,000, respectively.

If only conflicts could be settled this way. I like the idea of warring sides lining up against each other and going for world records. I doubt that anyone would begrudge the Iranian Revolutionary Guards going for the synchronised stuffing ferrets down the trousers record!

Perhaps the competition element could be widened with the leaders of nations in conflict should be brought to the United Nations HQ and, given a horse collar and told to gurn. The General Assembly can then vote on the winner…

I couldn't resist this headline

Psychic show cancelled due to unforseen circumstances

I know it is a cliche but it still amused me to see this on the Plymouth Herald website.

The show in question was the stage version of the shite cable/satellite tv show "Most Haunted"

An alternative title for the previous post

Hmm perhaps I could have called it "Beware of the flowers cause I'm sure they're going get you"....

Romford twinning - a correction

It has now been confirmed that Romford will not twin with Narnia after all. Rather it will twin with the seventh cirlce of Hell...

Meanwhile some reassurance

It is with great thanks to fellow Flannobrienophile Sean Jeating that I can find out at any time whether the Large Hadron Collider has destroyed the world. At present the site says no so I can therefore go about my business in the knowledge that I and the planet still exist...

Well I’m convinced!

SCROLL DOWN FOR WORDLESS WEDNESDAY



NASA scientists are apparently puzzled by a life-like image taken by one of the rovers currently active on the planet. The alien figure was pictured at the far left of one of the panoramic photographs taken by the exploration rover, Spirit, from the top of a low plateau in late 2007

Cidona, I suppose there's a face somewhere in there

The picture will certainly be well received by conspiracy theorists and other (Richard Hoagland presumably will be telling the world that NASA have photographed one of the builders of theCidona face; the Alternative Three nuts must be pretty happy too!)..

I don’t know if it’s just me though but the image looks a bit like the Patterson Bigfoot. This of course can only mean one thing.... Bigfoot is actually a Martian... Well that’s what I think anyway (Honest!)

He's turned Emo

This is just silly!

This blog is not just rated certificate puerile but...

This rating is based on 11 uses of the word gay, 4 deaths, 3 pains. 2 kills and one bastard! I am surprised to report that it is got a higher classification than Sonia-belle (definitely NSFW!) who can manage a mere R rating!

Ah well let's try for an X - certificate: pooh, bum, willie, boobs and knockers!

Music fans have been given the opportunity to choose the line of a song that they find the most grating. The worst pop lyric will be announced tomorrow by Marc Riley on his BBC 6 music radio show which begins at 7pm.

Apparently there is no place for Shakira and her unforgettable words: “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, So you don’t confuse them with mountains.” Snap’s “I’m as serious as cancer when I say Rhythm is a Dancer” apparently is in the running.

I give thanks at this sort of time that Robyn Hitchcock is not famous. I’m not sure how lyrics such as “Even Marilyn Monroe was a man but this tends to get overlooked by our mother-fixated, overweight, sexist media” would go down ....

Little things please...

Thanks to Skuds I am now aware of the existence of Acronym Finder. Just like in Blackadder III when Prince George used Dr Johnson's dictionary to look up rude words, I could find one significant use for this site, namely:-

Travelling Wave Amplifuer Tube

ARySulphataseE

Tactical Optical Surveillance System

and so on...

It even lists the Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society (OK that one is from Red Dwart. I watch too much telly!)