14 July 2007

A Pome by Dermot Hudson (aged Twelve years and thirteen sixteenths)

(Scroll down for this week's Photo Hunt)

Writing in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, renowned Essex man Douglas Adams identified the worst poetry in the known universe. In third place is Vogon poetry. Bad as it was it paled in comparison to that of the Azgoths of Kria. It was fortunate that their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent was killed by his own intestine prior to a reading of his 12-book epic "My Favourite Bath time Gurgles". The very worst poetry of all was attributed to one Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge.

Writing in the late 70s DNA would not have been aware of Dermot Hudson’s celebration of Kin Kong Il and the final victory of the Songun revolution. If he had, then the poor Vogons would surely have lost their podium place.

For the purpose of ridicule his poem is set out in full here ( it was found on a Korean Solidarity website).

The thundering crack of gunshots still does echo
over Korea, not only there but over the whole wide world
even though 70 long years have passed and flowed away
decades so long yet so short

Gunshots ringing out heralded the
new dawn of liberation,of a new Korea bright and free,
of the glorious Songun revolution. Ever victorious iron-willed
brilliant commander, heroic patriotic partisan
the illustrious General Kim Il Sung fired
the shot that tore Jap imperialism into
a million and one pieces

Oh worthy warrior of Mt Paekdu
leading the stout hearted partisans of
the mighty KPRA to shatter the chains
of Japanese imperialism, shock brigade of
world fascism, to dispatch
the murderous Japs to their doom

The flames of revolution burned brightly
at Pochonbo that night consuming
the oppression of Japanese imperialism
The crack of gunshots and roar
of flames merge into a mighty
thunderous sound of the Songun revolution

The banner of Pochonbo is today
raised ever higher, the echoes of gunshots
at Pochonbo reverberating ever loudly
signalling the final victory of the
Songun revolution

I would imagine that Hudson does not support the Monarchy. This is merciful as I get the feeling that there is little prospect of him becoming the next Poet Laureate or even deposing Andrew Motion. Then again the position has been filled by the likes of Alfred Austin who is best remembered for these lines in a poem concerning an illness of the Prince of Wales:

"Across the wires the electric message came: He is no better, he is much the same."

Perhaps there is hope for England’s champion of Juche after all!


Anonymous said...

The Great McGonagall would have been impressed.

Agnes said...

"The flames of revolution burned brightly
at Pochonbo that night consuming
the oppression" - unforgettable lines indeed. A the Ittr is gone, I'll have to visit Korean sites now. Some great criticism there, sadly gone.

jams o donnell said...

I was thinking just that Roger! I will do a critical comparison of this poem and the Tay Bridge Disaster.. Honest!

Ah I wonder if our little rich bitch friend from the sub continent is still pretending to ba a revolutionary. Perhaps you'll see her words of wisdom there!

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, Hans Blix....

Lapsed teacher said...

Having had the mixed pleasure of having Dermot in my CSE English class in the 1970s (shortly after this desperate bid for Worst Poet was written) I can confirm that he was definitely not likely to grow into a Conservative voter.

I was classed as a fascist, in fact most of the people he knew were fascists, neo-fascists, or crypto-fascists, and I was definitely going to be Next Against the Wall When the Revolution Came. Glad to see that his career has progressed along the lines he planned!

Lapsed teacher said...

PS Dermot's main ambitions at 15were to fail all his CSEs and become unemployed, as a gesture of solidarity with the oppressed masses.

As he was far from dim, this required a fair bit of determination on his part, and I hear he has now joined the ranks of the employed professionals, but it does make his inclusion on this page peculiarly appropriate!