And in sports news

Although I have pretty much lost interest in football, I am still pleased to hear that West Ham has won a place back in the Premiership. I can't get too enthusiastic

The Champions League final starts in 10 minute. I don't give a damn if Chelsea beats Bayern or vice versa,

Congratulations to Leinster on wining Rugby's Heineken Cup for the Third time. Only Toulouse, with four wins, has been more successful. 

This probably will be my only sports related post until the Olympics.

He shoots! he scores!

PRESIDENT OBAMA!

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Come on you Barack!

I don’t normally read the Sun but I was on the tube this morning. I had just finished a fascinating book about the Barbary corsair raid on the Irish village of Baltimore in 1631 (more on this later) and I didn’t really want to start my next book, the Air Loom Gang by Michael Jay and there wasn’t a copy of the Metro lying around.....

Page three was of particular interest (and not for the bare breasted beauty than graces that page, honest!) as it contained an interesting news item about Barack Obama. On the basis of this article I would wholeheartedly recommend that all Americans vote for him...

Why would I say such a thing? Well it seems that Senator Obama is a West Ham fan and has been following them since a UK five years ago. His sister married an Englishman whose family are ardent Hammers fans.

His campaign team recently revealed he is a massive soccer fan and a nifty player himself while a student at Harvard Law School. Apparently he watches Premier League games whenever his schedule allows. A campaign source said last night: “Obama is a big sports nut and loves his soccer. He never really followed it, though, until he was told all about the passion of West Ham fans by some of his English relatives. He’s always keen to find out how his adopted club are getting on.”

Well there you have it. It is common knowledge that all West Ham fans are upright citizens who drink moderately, never swear and always give up their bus seats to old ladies. A supporter of the boys from the Boleyn Ground would thus make an ideal President!

I look forward to hearing “I’m forever blowing bubbles” sung at the White House (a song that has nothing to do with the activities of Michael Jackson and his chimp). On the other hand the song has the lines “just like my dreams they fade and die, fortune’s always hiding....”

Having your head on money is better than having money on your head...

Energy Company Npower has ran a poll to see which sporting personality people would like to see on a British banknote. I am most pleased to see that the winner with over a quarter of the vote was Bobby Moore . Steve Redgrave, the first Briton to win gold medals at five consecutive Olympic games (a feat bettered only by Hungarian fencer Aldar Gerevich who won six consecutive gold medals between 1932 and 1960), cricketer Ian Botham came third.

As a West Ham supporter I will admit that I am a little biased in this matter. Bobby Moore was captain of England’s victorious World Cup side in 1966 - (he was of one of three West Ham players in the team – when will we ever see three West Ham players turning out for England again?). He had a distinguished career winning 108 England caps, an FA Cup winners medal with West Ham in 1964, the European Cup Winners Cup the following year and an FA cup runners up medal in with Fulham (against the Hammers ) in 1975.

Perhaps his crowning glory was his appearance in John Huston’s cinematic masterpiece Escape to Victory - a tale of POWs who triumphed over the Third Reich on the football field. That Bobby failed to get an Oscar nomination for his bravura performance is perhaps the greatest scandal in the Academy’s history . He remains the only person to out-act noted thespian Sylvester Stallone in a screen performance.

On a more serious note, Bobby Moore died of cancer in 1993. He is commemorated by two statues (one outside Wembley stadium and another outside West Ham’s Boleyn Ground which shows him held aloft by Geoff Hurst, Martin Peters and Ray Wilson). A stand at the Boleyn Ground is also named after him.

The Blades suffer another defeat

Sheffield United’s slim hope of remaining in the Premiership next season have been dashed. The Blades have been refused leave to appeal against the Premier League arbitration panel's decision to fine West Ham £5.5m over the Carlos Tevez (left) and Javier Mascherano transfers but not dock points. An arbitration panel had already upheld the original decision not to dock West Ham

Blades chairman Kevin McCabe "I firmly believe along with many others that (Sheffield) United were unfairly relegated, but that it has been difficult to probe the legal community." The Hammers were found guilty of acting improperly and withholding vital documentation over Tevez and Mascherano's ownership on 27 April and fined £5.5m. When they were registered as players, West Ham failed to disclose that they had entered into an agreement with third-party companies.

A couple of months away from the end of the season I doubt anyone would have cared if West Ham were docked points or not as relegation seemed certain - The Hammers were 10 pints adrift from safety with no realistic prospect of getting the wins needed to make the difference. Amazingly they did get the wins and sealed their premiership place with an away win over Man Utd.

In my view we got off lightly by having points deducted so I do feel sort of sorry for the Blades.On the other hand our season ended on a high note while theirs was marked by defeat by Wigan another side doing their best to avoid relegation. A drop to the Championship is expensive (they will lose millions form broadcasting fees) but I doubt further legal action will bring them an extra penny.

The great escape

Not so long ago, West Ham was at the bottom of the table with every prospect of travelling to away fixtures at Colchester, QPR and Crystal Palace next season. They went into today’s final match just out of the relegation zone but with likely to get a mauling at the hands of Man Utd. The two other teams trying to avoid the drop (Wigan and Sheffield Utd) played each other today. There was a very good chance that Wigan would beat the Blades leaving West Ham to be relegated on the basis of a poorer goal difference.

Well Wigan did beat Sheffield Utd 2-1 but a single goal from the highly controversial signing Carlos Tevez meant West Ham gained a shock victory and ensured safety. Wigan is safe too but Sheffield Utd will be playing in the Championship next season.

Tevez started inauspiciously and his signing led to a £5.5m fine, but in the last few weeks he has been an inspiration. Personally though, I would like to thank Jesus, Allah, Jehovah, several saints in particular St Jude the patron saint of hopeless causes, Buddha, Zoroaster, Neptune, Poseidon (to avoid being sunk), the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Offler the Klatchian crocodile god, Blind Io, and Nuggan of Borogravia.....

Hamilton, the Hammers and the Daggers

Apparently Lewis Hamilton is the first F1 driver to get two podium places from his first two races since Peter Arundell did so in 1964. Having taken third place in the Australian GP, Hamilton was runner up in yesterday's Malaysian GP. Although Arundell's career did not reach match his early promise, Hamilton looks as he has all the makings of a champion.

Meanwhile Dagenham & Redbridge won the Nationwide Conference on Saturday and thus promotion to the Football League. I really hope they have success next year.

West Ham beat Arsenal 1-0 and are now giving us a faint hope that they will avoid relegation. Hammers fans the world over are offering votives to all known deities as I write. Me, I might make an offering to Blind Io in the hope that they remain a premiership side next season!

West Ham – Insert appropriate tabloid horror headline

Call it a nightmare on Green Street; call it a Hammers Horror but West Ham has had a season that is very much an annus horribilis (although to date no castle has burnt down).

The Hammers have not won a match since December and have taken only two points so far during 2007. They are at the bottom of the Premiership table, eleven points adrift of safety and relegation seems inevitable (unless prayers to St Jude, the patron saint of hopless causes can turn things around!).

To make matters worse the team is in a morale meltdown according to a report in last Sunday’s Observer. Charges have been laid by the Premier League over breaches rules over the signing of Argentinean players Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano.

And now today the press is reporting that the Metropolitan Police confirmed that is investigating a complaint about racist chants heard at last Sunday’s game against Tottenham. One of the chants apparently was: "I'd rather be a Paki than a Jew".

The FA's head of stadia, Chris Whalley, will write to the relegation-threatened club today to demand an explanation for the security and stewarding provisions it has in place. The FA will want to know why there was no intervention from stewards to put a stop to the chanting, which took place at half-time when West Ham were leading 2-0. Even if the chants were from a tiny minority of fans, we need this srt of behaviour like a hole in the head.

Last May West Ham came with in an ace of a famous FA Cup win. This season has been an unmitigated disaster. I wonder if it’s time to pull down the shutters and hope for a successful return to the Premiership next year. On a happier note Dagenham & Redbridge are 12 points clear at the top of the Conference. Barring disaster it looks like league football next season.