09 March 2010

Press TV brings shock news from Iran

Never let it be said that PressTV is not afraid of incisive reporting. This story is truly investigate reporting at its best.

Apparently the people of Iran have spent roughly 74 million dollars in the past nine months on chewing gum and the habit appears to be growing - 100 times more than the amount spent four years ago.

The habit appears to be contagious. Iranians chewed 25 tons of gum in 2005 as compared to 2463 tons in the past nine months.

Needless to say, Iran's domestic industry also has seen the financial opportunity and made an effort to boost the domestic industry by establishing its second largest chewing gum factory on March 8, 2010. The factory, which was built with a 30-million-dollar, five-year investment, will produce sugar-free gum.

A huge increase over the last nine months? That would take things back to the stolen election... I daresay, Mossad, the Elders, the Andorrans and those pesky Bilderbergers have colluded to subvert Iran by increasing the incidence of dental caries, thereby rotting the body politic from the inside, one molar at a time!

As a story it is the sort that Woodward and Bernstein would have died for

Oh and Ahmafeckingidiot joins the ranks of tinfoil hated morons who think that 9.11 was a Reichstag Fire-type operation


Anonymous said...

Gums of mass destruction? Invade!

Anonymous said...

And up here in Scotland we thought the Boss Guy's name was "Ach-ah-need-ma-dinner-Dad" - the cry of many a hungry young lad awaiting his feed of pie and chips

Sean Jeating said...

Gosh. Chewing gum they are?
I seem to have no problems then.

jams o donnell said...

GMDs? Agreed, ;let's hit Iran NOW!

Haha I can see Mahmoud having his pie supper now Andrew!

I would not underestimate Sean!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot about the first name of Mahmoud, so the full name translates to the Scottish:

"Ah'm-in-a-mood... Ach-ah-need-ma-dinner-Dad"

jams o donnell said...

Haha Andrew!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Who's calling for the Elders here? Oh, that chewing gum...

Been there already. It works.


jams o donnell said...

Haha I had forgot about that!