02 February 2011

All your satellite are belong to us

According to the Torygraph a consortium consisting of Draxcop and the Chinese subsidiary of Globex have concocted a plan to cripple the planet’s satellite networks.

Under the pretext of cleaning up space junk the consortium plans to set off an uncontrolled chain reaction that will destroy the planetary communications network

According to Globex president, Hank Scorpio, a satellite attached to a thin metal net spanning several kilometres will be launched into space. The net is then detached, and begins to orbit earth, sweeping up satellites in its path. During its journey, the net will become charged with electricity and eventually be drawn back towards earth by magnetic fields and will land near to the consortium’s headquarters on Gruinard Island.

The process is based on a normal fishing net, Super-strong nets have been the subject of extensive research by Globex for the past six years and consist of three layered metal threads, each measuring 1mm diameter and intertwined with fibres as thin as human hair.

Hank Scorpio told a secret agent the plan just before attempting to cut him in half with a laser. The United Nations now plans to turn `Gruinard to radioactive dust. Ecologists say that this will be a major improvement….


susan said...

Good one!

jams o donnell said...

I couldn't resist mucking around with this story!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

The day of reckoning is come!

jams o donnell said...

But what can the elders do mon ami?