07 February 2011

Bagpipes are bad for you

Bagpipes: just say NO!

It is well known that the skirl of the bagpipe has a deleterious effect on both the mental and physical health of anyone unfortunate to be within earshot.. However, until now it was thought that the player was somehow immune to its horrors.

Now scientists have discovered bagpipes are dangerous to the player too.

Musicians who have to blow hard to play their instruments – such as brass, woodwind or pipes – have a higher risk of developing glaucoma.

A study at Glasgow Caledonian University found that blowing into such instruments can put the eyeballs under significant stress.
The scientists said this could lead to severe damage to the optic nerve.

Dr Gunnar Schmidtmann, who led the study, added: "It doesn't matter if you are a hobby musician or a professional player. You should go to your optometrist frequently.”

Well there you have it.

13 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

Oh hell! If I worried about everything scientists say is bad for me, I'd never get out of bed in the morning!

Francis Hunt said...

Then there's the old Scottish definition of a gentleman:

Someone who can play the bagpipes

... and doesn't!

jams o donnell said...

Be careful, staying in bed seriously increases the chances of other maladies Kay±

A true gent indeed Francis!

nursemyra said...

It seriously diminishes your chances of scoring with chicks too

jams o donnell said...

Being fat, balding and pushing 50 does all that without the need for bagpipes!

Löst Jimmy said...

I played the pipes many years ago... badly.

H. insciens said...

He looks like someone has kicked him so hard his balls have been propelled up through his throat into his mouth, and that is how hard I feel like kicking the bleeders who are usually piping away on Princess Street as I try to do some shopping. And I'm Scottish. The bagpipes can sound great from far away across a misty moorland, but when they are right up against your ear they do make that violence of kick a great temptation.

susan said...

I remember the summer day my parents decided to take me to the Scottish Games in a nearby town. I was in such pain from the massed pipers I curled up into foetal position and they had to take me home.

jams o donnell said...

Ah but you saw the light Jimmy!

GH, Susan, they are hideous up close and personal. Perhaps they should be banned as a cruel and unusual punishment

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Now you have done it, Jams. I am selling my bagpipes set and quitting this habit. I only wanted to piss off my neighbors anyway...

jams o donnell said...

It's for the bet Snoopy... Try out a snare drum. That will piss them off rotten too!

Steve Bates said...

Many years ago my musical group had a job at the Texas Renaissance Festival. At the same time, the late British Caledonian Airways fielded a bagpipe troop for publicity, and it was a crusty lot indeed who played at that same festival... not close to our set; we'd have been inaudible if they had. Our group leader had perfect pitch; she walked over to the leader of the BC bagpipers and asked, "Why do you always play in B-flat?"

The piper leered at her and replied, "We like to think of it as B-unnatural!"

jams o donnell said...

Haha Steve that's a great comeback!