This poem landed in my inbox a couple of days back, courtesy of MacGonigall online's Gem of the Day service. If only he lived in a time when advertising agencies were crying out for copywriters. I'm sure William Topaz would have made a fortune...
by William McGonagall
What ho! sickly people of high and low degree
I pray ye all be warned by me;
No matter what may be your bodily ills
The safest and quickest cure is Beecham's Pills.
They are admitted to be worth a guinea a box
For bilious and nervous disorders, also smallpox,
And dizziness and drowsiness, also cold chills,
And for such diseases nothing else can equal Beecham's Pills
They have been proved by thousands that have tried them
So that the people cannot them condemn.
Be advised by me one and all
Is the advice of Poet McGonagall.