A couple of jokes that will ensure my eternal damnation!
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off
Four nuns are standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned.
"Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said.
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
He then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned.
"Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun.
"Why did you push ahead in line?" asked Peter.
"Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!" replied the nun.
Culled from a Christian website called Ship of Fools, believe it or not.
8 comments:
Ship of fools is a good site, even for heathens like me.
I love the mystery worshipper section!
My mom always said, "Nuns who don't get none." I wonder how true that is?
EWBL, I always heard, "nun yesterday, nun today and nun tomorrow." But it isn't so. I dated an ex-nun for a while, and hung out with her circle of friends, most of them former nuns.
Oh, and jams... she was Irish. Lovely, too. I knew her through a folk dance group. A pediatric nurse in charge of a wing at a major local hospital, she was as compassionate a person as one could hope for. I asked Bridget once why she left the convent. She said she grew tired of living in the 20th century in the daytime and the 15th century at night. A wry grin crossed her face: "And there were other reasons!"
It is surprisingly entertaining, isn't it Skuds!
I don't know ewbl. the nuns that would ahve taugeht either me or my sister were hardly desirable!. On the otehr hand.. here's another joke.. if a 21 gun salute is fired when the queen has a baby, what is fired when a nun has one? A dirty old cannon!
being a nun or a monk or priest cannot be easy. I am not surprised she chose to leave the order.
or the dyslexic devil worshipper that sold his soul to Santa?
Were you Jerry Sadowitz in a previous life???
Disturbing and yet so very very funny...
Indeed Lisa... I could have selected some real sickos. Oh and welcome to the Poor Mouth!
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