23 November 2006

For the Sake of balance…

I present the Catholic response to my previous post


There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.:
Mine! And mine!And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate


(with apologies to Monty Python of course)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the line "God gets quite irate"

jams o donnell said...

Great isn't it? This song was one of the few highlights of the Meaning of Life. Otherwise it was a pretty poor film in my view

Pete said...

Well posted Jams.

Twas a stirring Anthem as they marched out of their hovel.

Pete

jams o donnell said...

I was inspired by Roger leaving an every sperm is sacred comment on my previous post!

It is one of Python's best ever songs

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I guess I need to bring more Ziploc sandwich storage bags to bed with me. This Mormon doesn't want God to be irate with me or my husband. :(

What shall I name all the little plastic bagged spermies? At least one will bear the name of jams in honor of you!

jams o donnell said...

Jams. rumer. berneice, homer. torquil, dervla, sadako, meena, kofi, barry, sylvia, Diego, karim....... jamsthe 78096th, Rumer the 78006th and so on. You will run out of names long before papi runs out of sperm!

jams o donnell said...

Alot of Python;s stuff just doesnt stand the test of time. BUT the Life of Bian I can watch over and over again. One of the funniest films ever made