23 November 2006

Who ate all the pies.. err, okay then who ate a pie?

In a case of pielitical correctness gone mad it would seem that the prevailing climate of health consciousness has forced major changes to the World Pie eating championship, including (horror of all horrors) the introduction of VEGETARIAN pice, according to the Wigan Observer .

In a break from the tradition of scoffing as many meat and potato growlers (pies) as possible within three minutes, contestants will have to eat one single pie, quickly. Organisers of the World Pie Eating Championships, to be staged December 13 at Harry’s Bar, Wigan, say they have taken a leaf out of the government's healthy eating plan and changed the rules of the competition.

"The World Championship will be decided on the basis of a speed-eating based sprint, rather than a first-past-the-post multiple-pie-disposal competition," said Tony Callaghan, the owner of Harry's Bar. "I realise it may be controversial, but it will make for an exciting sporting spectacle, whilst also doffing its cap to government-inspired guidelines on obesity."

"However, we have also bowed to relentless pressure from the Vegetarian Society and agreed to introduce a vegetarian option to the competition, although vegetarian pie-eaters in the competition will be allowed to eat a slightly smaller version because of its rather more glutinous content.

A spokesman for the Vegetarian Society said: "We have been campaigning for many years to end the wrongful discrimination against vegetarians at the World Pie Eating Championships. We are delighted that they have finally bowed to pressure.”


previous world champion expresses outrage at rule changes

According to the Standard the changes have provoked anger among previous winners who have accused organisers of bowing to food fascists. Dave Smyth, who won the first contest in 1992 said: "This contest has always been about savouring as many pies as possible over a three-minute period, not sprinting through a few mouthfuls of a single pie. They've taken things too far this year. Pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn't normal. I intend to lobby the organising committee and I'm not going to rest until I've got answers."

It is absolutely clear that some traditions should never be tampered with. .Unless the organisers revert to the old format there could be a Pieot in Wigan next month! The doo gooders should shut theur pie holes or should that be stuff them instead?

9 comments:

Steve Bates said...

When Wigan vegans weaken... do they eat meat pies?

jams o donnell said...

If they are utterly desperate then I suppose Steve!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm all about inclusiveness. Let the vegetarians have their day in the sun, because its been my experience that us carnivores can eat them under the table anyway. We're just much more base than the sensitive vegetarians.

jams o donnell said...

hah, e and the not wife could whup any meat eaters butt! perhaps not... My virew on these sort of contests is if they want to court a stomach pumping who am I to stand in ther way!

mullet said...

but has it all been in vain? are there any vegetarian pie eaters in wigan? would they wear it in wigan;)

jams o donnell said...

I have no idea mullet!! I think they have gone beyond burning witches there.. more than can be said for Romford!

mullet said...

watching the people get lairy....not very scary - as if jams! the govt can bring out initiatives till they go blue in teh face....yoga and vegetarianism is not gonna go down a treat in some places

Steve Bates said...

think they have gone beyond burning witches there...

Ah. So it's best not to be a Wigan vegan Wiccan.

jams o donnell said...

Probably not Mullet. Actually Romford gets a bad press. We may have a fuckwit for an MP but violent crime is relatively low (by London standards)

Dont worry Steve, we don't really burn wiches. We havent prosecuted anyone for "witchcraft" since 1944!