The title of this blog comes from a Gaelic expression -"putting on the poor mouth"-which means to exaggerate the direness of one's situation in order to gain time or favour from creditors.
Oh my good God! Do not let him press any of those buttons! That is NOT your TV remote control! Feed him! Placate him! Offer him your living flesh to eat or your flowing blood! Whatever it takes, just get him away from those buttons!!!!!!!!!
And have you ANY IDEA what that device hanging from his neck is? You don't do you? You think it is the one the Not-Wife put there some time ago. Goodness gracious! You have absolutely no idea what danger you, we, this universe and all the other universes are now in. Every demand of Ted's must be met. Please Jams. This is very, very, serious! The only thing that could make it worse would be if there was more than one Te... Oh... The clones...
Haha I have taken the opportunity to replace his world destruction button with one that provides him with a substantial portion of Dreamies. This keeps him content and distracts him from his plans for world domination.
Ah that is the Doomsday device that Ted created in his Island fortress of evil. It is impossible for me to remove it.If I were to try then it would release all ten million giant Ted clones to rampage across the planet and then the known universe. For a cat Ted is an utter bastard. If only he were happy just to eviscerate birds and small mammals....
OK. I am slightly reassured that you are doing your best to minimise the risks.
Well we have to do our bit Andrew
I am confident Ted knows what he is doing.
And that will be evil Snoopy!
Indeed. Snoopy is probably correct, but that is reason to feel terror not, calm... I see that furry face and I fear I hear the thought: 'That foolish man swapped my buttons eh, and does he really think I'm incapable of swapping them back? Will I press now? Or will I toy with him for a while? Ah... I am a cat... I like to toy with them... for a while... so long as the Dreamies keep on coming...'
Yes he is hard to fool. I fear he has the world destruct control back in his possession. Still the Dreamies are keeping him sated and peaceful.... for now anyway!
Which one did he choose?
In the end he press the button that activated my shock collar!
Ted looks so intent on what he is watching that it must be a potential victim.If he would just be that intense doing good ... but, then he wouldn't be Ted.
Of course Bryan. No way he would take such interest in babies and pretty flowers!
It's amazing the look of utter disbelief that Ted has on his face!
Haha Liz well he does like quality tv!
I am in love with TEd. Please don't tell Gordon.
Ah you like your men dangerous then Knat! Ted IS dangerous!
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