17 December 2007

Haven’t the people of Iran suffered enough?

The people of Iran have suffered grievously over the years under repressive regimes. Now they face a new horror in the form of Chris de Burgh. De Burgh, a purveyor of inoffensive “rock” (well it could be called that if you stretch the definition of rock into the 7th dimension....) and saccharine ballads, is set to become the first major western artist to perform live in Iran since the 1979 revolution.


The culture and Islamic guidance ministry has given De Burgh permission to stage a concert in Tehran next year. He is expected to play in a 12,000-seater venue with an Iranian band, Arian, with whom he has recorded a song, A Melody For Peace. Approval for the concert comes amid growing intolerance of western culture under president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. CDs by internationally popular acts have become harder to obtain while the government has pressed state broadcasters to favour Iranian over western music, some of which has been denounced as satanist. However, De Burgh's anodyne persona has persuaded the authorities to draw a distinction between him and more exotic performers (like James Blunt?). They may also have been persuaded by his description in 2002 of Iran as "one of those countries I would love to visit, not only for historical reasons but also for the fact that I believe that music is an international language and deserves to be heard all over the world".


Pop concerts are rare in Iran and have to be approved by the culture and Islamic guidance ministry, which scrutinises lyrics and musical style for "un-Islamic" influences. Many artists only perform instrumental pieces to avoid giving offence. Some bands also play illicit gigs in "underground" venues, such as car parks, an offence that can result in imprisonment.


I can only imagine that the Argentine born, Irish resident is part of an American plan to punish Iran over its nuclear programme. Realising that a military offensive is unfeasible, the US is resorting to a less lethal but method of Iran’s leaders toe the line. De Burgh is merely a warning shot - failure on the part of the Iranians to comply with American demands will result in a Michael Bolton/Barry Manilow salvo (If Germany joins a new coalition of the willing then Guildo Horn may be sent too). Further non compliance on Iran’s part may cause the ultimate weapon to be unleashed – Celine Dion Oh the horror!.


My thanks go The Norfolk Blogger where I saw the story first

16 comments:

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Excellent post and I rather agree with you on De Burgh [however it is spelt]. But I like Celine - in French!

Roland Dodds said...

David Hasselhoff is truly a weapon of mass destruction, and we will use him to further our aims. Beware Iran, Beware…

Just look at what he did to the Berlin wall!

jams o donnell said...

I don't know Welshcakes, Celine in English is pretty devastating though. Imagine the havoc as she sings My Heart Will Go On!

Roland there are some things which are too horrible to contemplate!

Roger B. said...

I can't wait to hear Bill Bailey's take on this story. Remember his parody of Chris de Burgh?

Beautiful ladies in danger, danger all round the world,
I will protect them, because I am Chris de Burgh

Beautiful ladies in emergency situations

Beautiful ladies are lovely, but sometimes they don't take care,
They're too busy with their makeup, or combing their lovely hair

To take basic safety precautions

But I will protect them, I will save the pretty ones,
With their smiles and their sparkling eyes

But let the ugly ones die
I have no place for them, in my new world order

I won't waste my seed on hideous trolls.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls,
Hunt them down there shall be no clemency

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the trolls,
Look under the bridges - that's where they hide
(that's where they hide)

And beauty shall be my bride.

Anonymous said...

Cat Stevens might have been more to the point.

A Free Man said...

"...part of an American plan to punish Iran over its nuclear programme..."

Fairly certain that this is a bit too wily for the current US administration. Good idea for the future though. I wonder if this constitutes torture?

jams o donnell said...

Now that will be worth hearing Roger. I'm sure he would make a whole act out of it!

Yusuf would have been a more obvious choice Aileni.

Chris, I wait for Britney and Christine to be strapped to cruise missiles and fired at Tehran. Nothing to do with the singer offensive....

Sean Jeating said...

Well, I'd pay the ferryman.

jams o donnell said...

a one way ticket Sean?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Is The Lady In Red still dancing with him.....cheek to cheek????!?

Dang.

I'm waiting for Bob Dylan-lite wannabe, Al Stewart to get invited next.

jams o donnell said...

I thinks she divorced him Ewbl. Al Stewart? That should strike fear into their hearts!

maryt/theteach said...

jams, you write: "I can only imagine that the Argentine born, Irish resident is part of an American plan to punish Iran over its nuclear programme. Realising that a military offensive is unfeasible, the US is resorting to a less lethal but method of Iran’s leaders toe the line. De Burgh is merely a warning shot - failure on the part of the Iranians to comply with American demands will result in a Michael Bolton/Barry Manilow salvo..."

So you've resorted to pot shots at the US...and the same to The US's kings of what? "soft rock" Bolton and Manilow. How come you didn't mention Canada and its offer of Celine Dion? Huh? :)

maryt/theteach said...

You know I'm joking, right, jams? Ha!

jams o donnell said...

Haha you had me going there for a sec!

beakerkin said...

This is a job for Milli Vanilli.

jams o donnell said...

Now that's just taking things too far Beakerkin!