09 March 2009

Dear Leader in surprise election victory


Yesterday Kim Jong-il was staring into the abyss of electoral defeat. However, in an escape that would have made Harry Houdini jealous he has been swept back into power by a grateful people. According to the Press Association the electorate gave the ruling party a ringing endorsement with 100% of the vote in a 99.98% turnout.

According to AFP turnout in Kim’s own seat, military constituency 33,3 was 100%. "all the voters of Constituency No. 333 participated in the election and voted for Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army Kim Jong-Il," the official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) reported. "This is the expression of all service persons' and people's absolute support and profound trust in Kim Jong-Il,"

The election gives no indication of Kim’s likely successor – none of his three sons was nominated for a seat – but the Dear Leader can breath easy again in the knowledge that he has a mandate to force North Koreans to bend over and take another inch.

14 comments:

Sarge Charlie said...

I will send Dear Leader the middle finger wave........

Sarge Charlie said...

I put the word out on this side of the pond....

Damon Lord said...

Aw shit. I had a thousand pounds running on the opposition with Paddy Power.

Renegade Eye said...

North Korea is more Stalinist than Stalinist Russia. The concept of "juche" or self reliance, is a way to say Stalin's idea of socialism in one country.

jams o donnell said...

It is a ridiculous result Sarge, typical of a Stalinist state

Damon, and I bet they gave you 8/11 on too. I bet they nobbled the ballot!


You're quite right Ren about teh Stalinism. Socialism in one state? It is tyranny!

Roland Dodds said...

The people have spoken….and by the people, I mean the Kim household. They have overwhelmingly given themselves a mandate to rule!

jams o donnell said...

4Well DPRK is one man, one vote and the one man voted for more of the same!

James Higham said...

I've been following China too.

TBR said...

Sounds like he's popular maybe we should get him over here.

beakerkin said...

Jams

Tis no great feat to differentiate between sane laborites and hardened Trotskyite lunatics. Any comments from people who hail a war criminal with a record similar to Saddam as a messiah are best for comedic fodder.

Maybe the Great leader needs to export his madness ala the appointed savior of Marx.

Mudhooks said...

Now that was an election result that NO one could have have anticipated!

I am sure that Kim Jong-Il was on the edge of his seat the entire election night. Many tears of joy and relief were no doubt shed by him (tears of hysterical laughter, anyway).

Damon Lord said...

There were calls for a recount, but it was not recounted. Instead, the votes were weighed. The opposition's votes weighed as much as a gnat's fart.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yes, it's definitely a relief for all right-minded progressive people that carry the Juche idea in their hearts. Lead us, comrade Kim! Or is it comrade Ill? Whatever.

Colin Campbell said...

Thanks for sharing. I am sure there are many politicians who will be hiring his apperatchiks. Clearly a man this popular must have a great voter engagement strategy.