13 September 2010
Instant Jesus, just add toast
A Vermont man has solved a major problem that besets all too many people in this topsy-turvy world. Try as we may we can never find a crap simulacrum when we need one. But fear not, Galen Dively III of Walden, Virginia, has introduced a toaster that sears the image of Christ on each and every slice it toasts.
Retailing for $39.95, the toaster uses patented radiated heat technology to toast the face of Christ on any variety of daily bread. Dively has ordered an initial run of 3,000 units from a factory in China and believes the toasters will be a big hit with church and school groups. His company, Burnt Impressions, also has plans to create Virgin Mary and Star of David toasters.
Dively believes that he is serving a higher purpose. "I consider it cheap PR for the Lord," he said.
Cheap PR or not it does mean that a saddo like me gets another simulacrum rel;ated post for what laughingly passes as a blog