11 February 2010

McGonagall in praise of laxatives

by William McGonagall

What ho! sickly people of high and low degree
I pray ye all be warned by me;

No matter what may be your bodily ills

The safest and quickest cure is Beecham's Pills.

They are admitted to be worth a guinea a box

For bilious and nervous disorders, also smallpox,

And dizziness and drowsiness, also cold chills,

And for such diseases nothing else can equal Beecham's Pills

They have been proved by thousands that have tried them
So that the people cannot them condemn.

Be advised by me one and all

Is the advice of Poet McGonagall.

Amazingly Beecham’s pills were not discontinued until 1998.It would seem, therefore, that people found that a mixture of aloe, ginger and soap really did help keep them regular!

More information and a wealth of poetistickal semipreciousness can be found at McGonagall online


James Higham said...

You have to keep that gunge moving through, Jams.

jams o donnell said...

True but that's what cabbage is for!

CalumCarr said...

This time I don't feel a burst of my McGonagall-esque writing coming on but I do feel as though I need a shit!

Thanks for that, Jams

jams o donnell said...

Well one out of two isn't bad!

Steve Hayes said...

What about Liky the Pink, the saviour of the human race?

jams o donnell said...

Well she is the saviour of the human race Steve!

susan said...

Sometimes I think people keep buying such things out of sentimentality rather than for their efficacy. Well, Mother always had them in the medicine chest.

jams o donnell said...

Perhaps.. my mum always had syrup of figs!

Knatolee said...

Every time I put a seashell up to my ear, I hear the ocean telling me I'm constipated and need ExLax. Doesn't that happen to everyone?

Susan English Mason said...

You've done it again Jams. You've brought back an otherwise suppressed memory from my childhood. "Hark the herald angels sing, Beechams pills are just the thing, peace on earth and mercy mild, two for man and one for child."

Well, I didn't make it through all the posts for the last week but I have to get to studying. I'll check in later this weekend.

jams o donnell said...

Err I've not heard of that before Knatolee!

Haha I'd not heard that version of the carols before!