07 July 2012

Britons fear end of world is nigh

Britain has woken up today with the feeling that Birnam Forest has come to Dunsinane - and surely the end of life and everything we know will follow shortly.

It was a shock that Andy Murray reached his first Wimbledon final thus becoming the first  human to reach the men's singles final since David Icke's reptile people took over the earth in 1862.It was a double shock that Jonathan Marray, a Briton nobody seems to have heard of has reached the men's doubles final - the first time that this has happened since the Chicxulub impact caused Wimbledon to be suspended for a couple of weeks.

After such a long time without a British male reaching a Wimbledon final (Sorry Jamie Murray Jeremy Bates and John Lloyd, nobody seems to count the mixed doubles) many Britons are wondering indeed if this is a portent of Doomsday with extra weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Good luck to Jonathan and Andy. I really do hope Andy Murray wins. It must be a complete pain in the arse to hear his brother taunt him with his own Wimbledon win


SnoopyTheGoon said...

And how, pray, do you prove that Andy Murray isn't a 6ft reptilian?


jams o donnell said...

Well he did appear on Star Trek as the Gorn and fight James Kirk!