It is good to start a new year with a new type of simulacrum. While not as outrageous as the Jesus on a terrier’s arse, I have never come across a spud with a cross inside.
According to philly.com, (via the Fortean Times) there was not one but two “cross-grained” root vegetables: The first was discovered first by Dennis Bort of Brunswick, Ohio on Christmas Day. The second was found by a couple in Marion, Iowa, on New Year's Eve. The discoverers appear to worship mammon as both spuds have been put up for sale on eBay.
Bort said he and his wife had just returned from vacation and were "trying to scrounge together a Christmas dinner with what wasn't spoiled in our fridge...So I peel the potatoes and I'm getting ready to do it and I see what you saw in the picture I said, aw, holy crap, it's a cross," said Bort, a police detective.
Six days later Connie Gross of Marion, Iowa, skinned a potato with a similar image inside. She and her husband, Jim, covered it in foil and stuffed it in the fridge."Our first reaction was, we don't want to eat it," Jim Gross said.
Explaining why he put it on eBay \Mr Bort said "I'm not a religious person at all, I'm not taking it as a sign of the apocalypse or anything like that. I've seen stories of Jesus in the cheese sandwich and all the other crap, but.... There's always a Christmas credit card bill to pay with the holidays, so why not?"
Personally I believe that the appearance of such a holy symbol constitutes a sign of great portent, Revelations 7:17 says “For the pottatoe which is its midst hath a cross throne shall be made into chippes and shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of lager”
Or something like that anyway...
9 comments:
In my old age, I'm still struggling through Revelation. And there you are, young'un, with a message as clear as bell. I'm impressed!
I'm reminded of the miracle of the loaves and the fishes here. If you were to cook the Potato (it has to be uppercased!) as chips, would your humble deep-fat fryer produce enough to feed the multitudes? If only you could get a fish with the same properties, you could feed the East End of London for eternity...
Ah Revelation never lies Claudia... errr!
Now there's a thought Egg, food crisis over at a stroke
Strange days have found us.
Very strange but all days are somehow strange!
Well anything to make a bit of cash!
THat's true and ig it raises the overall level of piety....!
Now, Jams, I shall never have a bite of chips without thinking about spiritual things, thanks to you.
Like about some distilled spirits, stuff like this.
Vodka and fries? Now that IS a combination!
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