Scum to the left of me, bastard to the right. Here I am....
A couple of days ago the Independent revealed the man who will succeed Alexander Lukashenko as president of Belarus - None other than his seven year old son Kolya.
Apparently Kolyaalready has plenty of experience of the trappings of high office, having overseen military parades, sat in on Cabinet meetings, and met several world leaders when he accompanies his father, the current president Alexander Lukashenko, on trips abroad.
Lubynkashenko has two adult sons, but is estranged from his wife, who it is believed now lives on a cattle farm in rural Belarus. Nikolai, or Kolya for short, was born much later, and the identity of his mother has never been made public.
The child first appeared in public around four years ago, and now sits in on almost all state occasions. He can be spotted strutting around at major military events holding a golden pistol, with generals of the army obliged to salute the infant, and is also now a fixture on his father's infrequent foreign trips.
Lubyankashenko made the announcement about Kolya's potential succession during a trip to Venezuela this week, where the pair were given a lavish welcome by President Hugo Chavez. "You're correct in pointing out that my kid is here alongside us," said Mr Lukashenko. "This shows that we have seriously and lastingly established the foundation for our cooperation, and that in 20 to 25 years there will be someone to take over the reins of this co-operation."
Lubyankashenko has been president of Belarus since 1994.It looks like he has no plans to vacate office any time soon. Perhaps the people of Belarus will force that departure on im sooner rather than later.